


Find someone to carry you

by pickingupellen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Azkaban, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Marauders' Era, Post-Hogwarts, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:15:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3153617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickingupellen/pseuds/pickingupellen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can’t run you walk, when you can’t walk you crawl, and when you can’t crawl… you find someone to carry you. (Firefly, 2003)</p><p>This is a story about finding yourself when the pillars you have built your life on are destroyed.<br/>(Or as I’ve been calling it: that story where Lily KNEW Sirius was a hot headed idjit! and planned for that shit.)<br/>Written as part of RoughTrade July 2014 so a big thanks to Keira Marcos for the safe space!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A crack of lightning rolled through Auror Sirius Black's head as the world in front of him tilted and shuddered. He swallowed back nausea as the road twisted up vertically in front of him. Pain shot through his body, his knees hit the ground, his lungs burned and tears prickled in his eyes as he fought to take a breath. A tearing pain emanated from his magical core, encompassing his very soul. All other thought was beyond him, the pain was shredding his mind. His eyes dropped shut and his forehead hit the ground with a solid thud. From beside him a worried voice rang out with a series of profanities.

" ... The fuck, Black? Sirius, talk to me. " A few long moments after his collapse a hand grabbed Sirius' shoulder and shook him harshly. The person's other hand pressed against his pulse point.  
"Expecto Patronum" a glow filled the night "Go to Kingsley. Medical emergency. Auror down. Cause unknown. No physical trauma but showing signs of core injury. Immediate assistance. Repeat. Immediate assistance. GO!"  
Sirius was rolled on to his back, his nose was pinched shut and warm lips pressed against his before a breath was forced into his lungs. Sirius coughed and the person with him helped him to roll to one side as he continued to cough and gasp in deep shuddering breaths.  
After a few moments Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at his partner.  
" Car, it's gone." He sobbed reaching up to grab the other man's shoulders. "It's been destroyed." Auror Caradoc Dearborn looked confused for a moment, then paling he dropped back on to his haunches and whispered,  
"Your wardings?"  
"All of it. Wardings, our bond, I can't feel him, I can't feel anything. Merlin...James... I have to..." Sirius tightened his grip on Caradoc's shoulders and heaved himself to his feet dragging his partner to his feet after him. Pulling his wand with a shaking hand he prepared to cast a side-along apparition.  
"Sirius, this is mad. You can't be casting in this condition. Tell me where we're going and I'll take us there." He said trying to grab Sirius' wand out of his hand.  
As the two aurors squabbled over the wand, slowly getting more violent, the distinctive pop of a house elf appearing echoed down the lane they were standing in.  
The neatly dressed house elf wearing a Potter crest on his jacket watched the pair for a moment before shaking his head, catching hold of the bottom of both men's robes and as they both swung to look at it wands raised to defensive positions it 'popped' them away. The leather bands all Aurors wore around their wrists activated and heated as magic ensured they both arrived in the same place.  
\- - -  
The devastation was unimaginable, the house elf had 'popped' them in to the front garden of what had clearly been a beautiful little cottage sitting at the furthest edge of a great estate. Around the edge of the property the ground was torn up, great trench marking where the wards had been literally blasted apart. The crested gate hung from it post, the latch melted and warped. The bloodied and broken bodies of house elves lay along the box hedge edged path. A dozen of them fallen as the last line of defence before their master's home. Another great trench ran around the cottage, undermining the foundations, both magical and physical. The door was gone, a great cleft running up the house from where it had once stood all the way to the ridge of the roof.  
The front wall of the cottage had holes blasted through it, the stone that had once made up the wall littering the rose beds. The stench of dark magic so thick in the air it could be tasted leaving a viscous layer on the tongue.  
Caradoc turned from the destruction and placed a hand on his frozen partner's shoulder as the man stared at the place he had once called home in shock.  
"We should..." he began, trailing off as he realised Sirius hadn't responded to his touch. He followed the line Sirius' gaze until he was looking at the same part of the destruction. After a few seconds what he was looking at became clear.  
"Sirius," he began softly " I'm going to call for back up. Don't go in there, the whole place is waiting to come down." Even as he finished speaking, Sirius pulled away from him and staggered through the rubble. One futile, thin thread of hope dragging him across the wreckage.  
Sirius staggered over the last few pieces of rubble before dropping to his knees pulling James Potter's limp and bloody body out of the trench around the house and in to his lap. A broken "James" ripping from him as he lifted the young Lord's body until it was cradled against his chest, face lolling against his neck. Reaching up he gently stroked a hand over his eyes drawing them closed.

Caradoc turned away and stepped over the old boundary line. It took him a few attempts to form a wispy Patronus and choke out a location and a report, telling them not to rush.

After a few moments Sirius cleared his throat and trying not to disturb James' position he pulled his cloak off his shoulders and tucked it around the young, dead Lord fastening it around his shoulders. "Well, for once love, I wish you had worn something to bed. Mind you, fighting a Dark lord in the nude? You always were ballsy." He sniffled, a sad smile on his face.  
Hearing something moving in the house he looked up, lowering James' to the ground. Through the hole in the wall he could see a house elf picking its way down the stairs, it walked across the wreckage of the living room and finally out of the hole before hopping over the trench and stopping in front of him. They looked at each other for a long moment before the elf held out the bundle in its arms. Sirius took the bundle and tucked it against his chest. Gently he folded the cloths back to reveal a sleeping infant. Sighing with relief he stroked on finger down the child's face, feeling how chilled the child was he quickly unfastened the buttons on his robes and tucked him against his chest. "I've got you Harry,” he muttered.  
"Sirius!" Caradoc shouted from behind him sounding shocked. As Sirius turned he saw Caradoc fire off a stunner. Following its line he spotted a thin man in dark robes rushing away.  
" PETER! COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" Sirius shouted. The child in his arms jumped in shock and began to wail. Passing him back to the house elf, Sirius took of after Peter. As he ran magic bean to pull at him trying to drag him back. Just as the pain became unbearable Sirius managed to grab Peter.  
" YOU. You are under arrest, any attempt to resist your arrest will be met with force. Anything you say or do will be revealed to court by pensive. So I wouldn't bother, Peter." He snarled as the man he had once called friend raised his wand. In a flap of red robes Caradoc arrive next to him and began to cast a magic binding spell. Peter transformed in to a rat and both Aurors tried to grab him. A few meters away Peter transformed back and throwing a blasting curse over his shoulder he destroyed the village green and war memorial killing the half-dozen locals who had come out of the pub to watch the arrest. Even as Sirius managed to throw an anti-apparition ward up Peter changed in to a rat once more and scurried away.  
"Sirius you okay?" Caradoc and Sirius pressed a hand to his chest and screwed his eyes up in pain.  
"Yeah, Car, I'm great!" he snarled at him turning and hurrying back to the house, the pain easing with every step until he finally cuddled the child to his chest. As the pain faded entirely Sirius remembered Lily 's last conversation with him.

**"You know how you and James always say... said. Say, that thing?" Lily had whispered as they both watched James sleeping on the sofa with Harry tucked on his chest.**  
 **"Hmmm?" Sirius said tearing his eyes off father and son to look at Lily.**  
 **" Would you say that for Harry too?"**  
 **" Of course." Lily stared at him for a moment, and then grabbing his wrist she dragged him off. She tugged him through the kitchen and in to the workshop she had strong-armed James and him into warding for her.**  
 **" I need to hear you say it. Promise me." She insisted as she grabbed two stools from under the workbench and pushing one at him sat on the other.**  
 **"Lily, I will always carry him. Whatever else happens I will always be there."**  
 **"I know this has been hard. Anyone would understand if you..." Lily said softly looking at him with sympathy. Sirius looked away and ran one hand over his face before answering.**  
 **"I might not agree with what James did, I'm not gonna say it didn't...." he stopped and looked at her "Harry is a child, he is James' child. I might be angry, hurt, but it's not Harry's fault. So I swear, Lily, when it comes to it I will always carry him. When he has no-one else I will be there." Sirius didn't notice the soft flair of magic.**

Behind him Sirius heard cracks of apparition and then a wizard shouted. " It was Black, I was always telling Potter not to trust him. You can never trust a dark wizard to stay on your side, Black was always going to turn on him and now look." He heard the Aurors telling the man not to worry, and footsteps behind him. He turned quickly and Caradoc lifted his hands to show open palms.  
"Sirius, We're gonna have to take you in. People are having enough problems trusting Aurors it can't look like we are covering. A couple of hours while we do paper work and then you walk." Sirius looked over Caradoc's shoulder and seeing Kingsley walking towards him with cuffs he apparated away.

Sirius felt the thin leather band on his wrist burn hot as Caradoc was dragged along with him. In front of him the gates to Hogwarts hung open the long drive stretching out.  
"Siri, come on. This is ridiculous." Caradoc said even as he followed Sirius up the drive.  
" Ridiculous! No, what's ridiculous is that you think this will be a 'couple of hours of paper work'! Crouch has been after me for months, everyone knows Reg was a Death Eater and I went to his funeral.  
Apparently that was enough for Crouch to think I have some kind of sympathy to my families politics." Sirius gestured with one hand, practically running up the drive. " Years of separating myself from that, from my family, giving up everything, wasn't enough. I. Can't. Be. Trusted. It won't be a few hours! Hell I'd be surprised if there is even an investigation, never mind a trial, before he sticks me in prison. Stop being so naïve, Car." Behind them cracks of apparition rang out. Sirius stopped and started to hand Harry to Caradoc until a blast of magic forced Caradoc away from the child. Raising his eyebrows Sirius placed Harry on the ground and quickly shook himself, transforming in to a large wolf like black dog. He picked Harry up gently and raced up the drive faster than a human could ever hope to match.  
Arriving at the doors Sirius wasn't shocked to find the head and deputy head waiting for him. Placing Harry at McGonagall's feet Sirius transformed back to human lifted the child from the floor and begged.  
" Promise me something, Promise you will always take care of him. You won't let him leave your sight, you won't give him to anyone else but me. I'm the closest thing to family he has left so promise me, Minerva." He pushed the child into her arms even as she nodded in agreement.  
"I promise, I'll take care of him, only you and I will take care of him. Where's James... Lily. Do you mean...?" Even as she asked she paled and tears began to form.

Sirius opened his mouth to answer as Caradoc's hands wrapped around his shoulders and he was pulled away. Sirius tensed waiting for the pain to hit as he let his partner draw him away. But after a few paces he sighed with relief when all that happen was a mild ache took up residence in his chest. Caradoc let go of his shoulders and let him walk toward the group of Aurors unaided. His hands shaking he turned and offered his wand arm to Caradoc so his partner could take his wand holster.  
As he held his hand out a stunner hit him from behind and he collapsed to the ground. In a rare move for the Aurors his fall was softened by a cushioning spell and Kingsley could be heard shouting at the person who had stunned Sirius from halfway down the drive. Caradoc crouched next to him and with gentle hands he unfastened Sirius' wand holster and then, after a moment of hesitation, the leather band designed to keep them together.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Sirius rolled further in to James’ arms and slowly slid a hand down gently tugging the patch of hair above his cock before sliding down and around the hardening dick. Pushing up on to one arm he pressed a kiss to against his still half asleep partner before kissing down his chest to lick over his nipple, tugging a little with his teeth. When his lover groaned and arched in to the bite and the hand around his dick Sirius slid down the bed. He pressed a kiss to a hipbone then licked up the hard cock in front of him before sucking the head into his mouth. When the man below him began to thrust up Sirius pulled back and whispered a few words before sliding his mouth back down. He ran one hand up his lover’s thigh and brushing a thumb over his balls he began to tease the spell-slicked hole.**   
**He slid one finger in and without waiting began thrusting it in and out,**   
**“You’re all nice and ready from last night aren’t you, love,” he said lifting his mouth off the cock in front of him. He added another finger and carried on thrusting while sliding up to steal a kiss. James moaned and pushed back on to Sirius’ fingers when he added a third.**   
**“Just bloody well fuck me. ” He gasped wrapping one hand in to Sirius’ hair and pulling him down for another kiss.**   
**Sirius pulled his fingers out and chuckled as James gasped at the loss and used his spare hand to help guide Sirius’ cock to the right place.**   
**Sirius pushed the head in and paused relishing the feeling of James squeezing around him.**   
**James lifted one of his legs, wrapped it around Sirius’ bum and pulled him in.**   
**“Fuck,”**   
**“”Yeah, well if you would get on with it…” Sirius suddenly thrust in making James gasp and then moan as he began to fuck him with long deep thrusts. James wrapped his other hand in to Sirius’ hair and used them both to pull him in for a kiss. James began to kiss him hard, lips bruising with the force of it. Pulling away Sirius began to suck a love bite in to James’ shoulder.**   
**“If you don’t touch my dick soon I’m going to…” he cut off with a whimper as Sirius shifted his hips and began to pound his prostrate. “Kill you?” Sirius huffed and shifted again so he could stroke James in time with his thrusts. After a few moments James clenched and came, Sirius fucked and stroked him through it before thrusting in hard and coming. He let himself drape over James for a moment until the man shoved his shoulder. Tugging gently he rolled them so that they were lying on their sides still entwined. Arms wrapped around James he drifted to sleep.**   
**Hearing a bang he sat up in bed and looks around for James, he slid out of bed as the bang happened again. He grabbed his wand and slipped a housecoat on before sneaking down the stairs. He paused at the bottom in shock and looked around the wreaked room. Through a hole in the wall he saw James panting and bleeding heavy. He raced across the room and leapt out of the hole desperately casting spells to stop the bleeding even as he gathered James up.**   
**“I’ve got you. It’ll be okay.” He pressed a hand to the largest wound and began to press down. James huffed a wet sounding laugh**   
**“Too late for that. Guess you’ll have to carry me.” He coughed and winced “Siri, Don’t give up. Don’t let them take the good you’ve done from you.**   
**You’re a good man. Fight to be free.” Sirius watched as his lover slipped away from him and he desperately tried to revive him. Seeing something move in front of him he looked up to see James stood in front of him.**   
**“Goodbye, Siri. You have to fight them. For Harry”**

Sirius shot bolt upright with shock, he swung his legs over the edge of the narrow bunk and looked at his shaking hands, the warmth from the drew, fading quickly in the damp chill of the cell. From the corridor he could hear banging and moans of distress from the other prisoners. Looking up he saw the dark hooded face of a Dementor staring back at him. Drawing his legs back into himself he huddled as far away from the creature as he could. From down the corridor he heard the bang of a corridor gate being slammed open and the sound of shouting.  
Silence fell.  
Bang, another gate.  
Shouting, closer this time, clearer.  
As the shouting drew closer Sirius began to pick out words. After a few more gates slammed and the shouting became clear, his own name mentioned more than once by a familiar voice. Sirius stood up and practically threw himself at the cell door as it opened, two weeks of isolation and anguish feeding his desperation  
” Calm down lad” the grizzled man who had opened the door said softly even as he wrapped his arms around Sirius. “Take a deep breath and eat this.” He mutters shoving a lump of chocolate into Sirius’ mouth as he opened it to speak.  
“Moody… I… Thank you.” Sirius choked out around the chocolate.  
“Well, I can hardly have one of the best wizards on my team rotting his brain in a cell. And imagine my shock when I discovered the Heir of House Black and the guardian of Lord Potter wasn’t even read his rights upon his arrest.” Moody forced the Dementor floating ominously behind him back down the corridor with one hard stare, his magical eye whizzing dervish like in the socket. “Can’t do it right with one of our own! What does that say about us?” Moody barked as he half dragged, half carried Sirius down the corridor.  
Emerging blinking into the dull light Sirius staggered over a rock and as his knee hit the ground he closed his eyes and waited for the pain to jerk him awake as it had done several times in the past two weeks. A tug on his shoulder made him open his eyes and start his stumble down the path again.  
– – –  
Huddled under Moody’s cloak Sirius tucked his head between his knees desperately trying to stop himself throwing up from the violent rocking of the boat. Next to him Moody was sat bolt upright as vigilant and impassive as ever watching the sea around them as though it was personally responsible for every injury he had ever received. While Sirius was woozily contemplating how the sea might, just, be responsible for all of the ills of wizarding Britain, the little boat bumped against the shore. Sirius felt the tug of magic that pulled the boat up to the top of the beach wash over him. Huffing he tucked his head further in to his knees and whined.  
“Why I never suspected you were a hound Animagus I will never know.” Moody chuckled, ruffling a hand through Sirius’ dirty hair.  
Finally the boat came to a rest and Sirius heard the ministry issue boots of the Auror core crunch across the pebble beach and surround the boat. At a prod from Moody Sirius lifted his head and looked at the magical restraints being proffered to him.  
“Sorry lad.” Sirius lifted a shaking hand and, nodding, wearily pulled the heavy iron onto his knee. In a practiced move he popped the latches open and pushed first one and then the other cuff to the closed position. He shuddered as a chill settled over him and deep into his bones, the wards in the cuffs suppressing his magic completely. Sirius waited for the shivers to stop. They never did.

Moody and the Aurors around the boat waited for a few minutes watching the pale, gaunt man shudder and spasm painfully. Eventually Moody wrapped one hand gently around Sirius’ upper arm and helped the man to his feet only for Sirius to crash to the ground when he tried to step, a whimper forced from his lips.  
“What’s wrong with him?” the youngest of the Aurors asked even as one of the taller men pushed her out of the way and crouched to help Moody get Sirius to his feet. Leaning heavily on the Auror holding him up Sirius humourlessly chuckled even as the spasms continued to wrack him. Moody turned to the girl and snapped.  
“What do they do?” Pointing at the cuffs.  
“The restrict the prisoner’s magical core. The more powerful and well-trained the witch or wizard is the more harshly the ward restricts their ability to connect to their magical core” The girl recited, practically word for word from the textbook.  
“Aye, now would you say a Specialist is well-trained?” the girl and several of the other Aurors blanched “And the Blacks have never been known for their lack of strength.” Turning, Moody firmly wrapped his arm around Sirius’ waist. Nodded at Sirius and the other Auror and then pulled out a portkey and declared, “Ecgþrace, unswice, ingeþanc!” As the portkey tugged them away Sirius huffed a half laugh, half sob at Moody’s choice of the Potter motto as the activator.  
—  
The portkey dropped the three men onto a familiar, worn carpet and around them the sound of paper shuffling and people chatting drew to a halt. Without his magic to buffer him Sirius’ knees buckled and the air was forced from his lungs as his body tired to figure out if it really had been turned inside out. Hearing chairs draw back and the sound of people rising to their feet Sirius shakily lifted his head to see every single on duty Auror, in the special projects unit, on their feet wands raised to a formal salute.  
A long moment passed where no one moved and Sirius could hardly breathe.  
“Get back to work you bunch of wazzocks, names hardly clear themselves.” Moody affectionately snapped at the workroom. Everyone in the room turned back to what they had originally been doing, Sirius let his head drop wishing his hair was long enough to hide his face as he felt tears prickle at the edge of his eyes.  
“Sir, would you like me help you get him down to the interview room?” the Auror who Sirius was still practically being held up by asked.  
“No, I think my office would be more appropriate.” Moody growled taking Sirius’ weight off the man “Now get off this floor until you have the training to be here.” Tugging Sirius to a slightly better position he slowly walked to the heavily warded door. Across the workroom, in on of the glass walled offices Auror Dearborn sank back down behind his desk at Moody’s hard look.  
– – –  
Stumbling through the door Moody quickly dropped Sirius into a wingback chair near the fireplace. Reaching down he gently brushed the tears of the young Aurors face, Moody turned, quickly set a fire blazing and activated half a dozen wards. With an apologetic look at the hunched figure he cast an imprisonment spell that left Sirius retching as the cuffs fought the layer of magic. The gnarled man swiftly pulled a footstool in front of Sirius’ curled body, the spasms and retching faded in to painful twitches and bone deep shudders that wracked his thin frame. Grief, pain and the loss of his magic marked the normally intimidatingly powerful young man seem shockingly young and venerable.  
Moody wrapped his large, strong hands around the cuffs and began the long incantation to release them. After a few minutes he stopped speaking and watched as Sirius relaxed by increments as the ward slowly uncurled from his core and the heavy cuffs popped undone falling to the floor. A sob passed his lips and as he crumpled forwards Moody wrapped his arms around him. The stress and grief of the past two weeks hit Sirius like a ton of bricks, wrapping his arms around Moody he let himself break, the older man rocked him gently letting Sirius cling to him as he wept.  
After a while Sirius cleared his throat, dropped back in to the wingback chair and used his filthy sleeve to wipe his face. Swallowing several times he sighed “Sorry, and, well. Thank you. Wasn’t quite sure how I’d get out of that one.” Moody looked at him for a moment and shaking his head he said,  
“It’s a tough job and these are tough times. Besides, you lot, each and every one of you is like a child to me” Moody nodded at the window to the workroom before continuing ” I hand-picked every one of you, bullied you into practising more, working harder. I fought the higher-ups when they called you unstable or unsuitable. I put together your training, figured out what would break you and then put you through hell so that when it happened in the field you wouldn’t crumble. I know most of you better than your own mothers.  
Sometimes, most of the time, you all need a smack and someone to shout at you but some days you need me to give you a hug, pat you on the back, tell you that you did the right thing or that right now it hurts but you will survive and let you cry. Never underestimate, Sirius, how important each and every one of you is to me. You are the little family that I built and I will go to the wall for any of you because if you survived the training to get here you’ll never risk crossing me.” Sirius laughed softly “We’ve lost enough people Black, I won’t lose a good man to prejudice.” He paused while Sirius cleared his throat and settled himself. “Now, Dearborn already told me the most of it so lets just go through this like any other report.” Sirius looked up at Moody, took a deep breath and began to talk.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“You can not simply take as mass murderer out of Azkaban and then let him sit in your office, in the middle of the ministry of magic, DRINKING TEA!” Crouch shouted as he stood in the corridor outside the special projects unit of the Auror division. Moody leaned back through the open doorway and grumbled,  
“Dearborn, Get Black a coffee will you. Apparently we can’t be having him drinking tea. ” Beside him Crouch turned a very interesting shade of puce “Now I don’t see a mass murder in there anywhere and even if Black were one I can’t think of a more secure place in the ministry to put him than my office. That incident 2 years ago let us all know that the cells can’t hold Black and as far as I know you haven’t upped the wards like I told you to.” Moody said leaning against the wall in a deceptively calm way.  
“That’s why he was in Azkaban! Merlin, man, if the warded, iron bars of the cells can’t hold him then I don’t know how you expect your glass and wood office to hold him.” Crouch exploded, spittle flying from his mouth as he raged.

Moody stalwartly bit back the urge to curse the man senseless, pin a note to his chest reading ‘My people are mine and the lot of you can fuck off’ and then kick him a few times to be sure Crouch really got the hint. Instead he took a deep breath and ordered his magical eye to stare straight through the annoying little twit in front of him.  
“My office is more heavily warded than ‘Lizzie the first’s cunt. We are on the 150th subfloor and even Merlin himself couldn’t blast through that much dirt to freedom. And, finally, sat outside my office are some of the finest, most battle hardened Aurors we have and they all know how much one man invasions of the ministry annoy me.” Moody spat his patience for Crouch’s persistence and ministry politics long since worn thin. “Besides I would have thought that you, if anyone, would appreciate that the law is innocent until proven guilty. Until you provide me with sound evidence that Sirius Black could in any way be responsible for the actions of Peter Pettigrew on morning of 1st November or the deaths of James and Lily Potter I am only required to provide you with a transcript of my formal debriefing with him. And that? Is all you are getting.” Leaving the spluttering Bartimus Crouch behind him, Moody turned on his heel and strode in to the workroom and with a flick of his hand he spelled the door closed and locked behind him.  
Grunting he stomped across the room, poured a cup of tar like tea and settled in to an armchair to watch his teamwork. Looking through the half glass wall into his office he could see Sirius twitching as he slept on the overstuffed sofa.  
– – –  
“Auror Black…” Crouch began from his position in the magistrates’ chair,  
“Specialist Auror Black” Moody interrupted from the side. Crouch took a deep breath and without looking at Moody said,  
“Specialist Auror Black, you stand accused of the murder of Peter Pettigrew, as witnessed by the residents of the Old Lion’s Rest, Godric’s Hollow, and an act of treason in your betrayal of Lord Potter and his wife. Statements and evidence gathered by my office lay reasonable suspicion upon you.  
I would like to inform the court that permission has been granted by the chief warlock for my office to seize all documents relating to Auror Black and his partner, Specialist Auror Dearborn.  
I demand that the Special Projects Division of the Auror Office hand over Auror Black to the custody of my department.”  
From beside Moody a tall witch wearing stark black robes with an almost invisible Black family crest on them stood and firmly said,  
“Might I draw your attention to article 4, subsection 66z and remind you that as Sirius Black is an Auror holding the rank of Specialist, the division for whom he works is permitted to take care of any necessary detention or supervision if he is at anytime accused of a crime which would have occurred while he was on duty.  
Here I would like to note that all Aurors in the special projects division are classed as being on continuous active duty at anytime a state of emergency is declared. ” The woman paused of a moment as Crouch’s assistant passed him the relevant section of legislation.  
“In accordance with the same regulations you, and all others from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, are limited to only questioning Specialist Auror Black with regards to his actions at the time of the crime. Such questioning must take place in front of his immediate superior and is limited strictly to the events surrounding the supposed law breaking.  
Any files requested must first be cleared by the Auror in charge of the division in question to ensure that no current investigations will be harmed by the exchange of information, the files will then be passed to the department of mysteries to ensure that they will not affect any potential futures.  
Finally I would draw your attention to article 4, subsection 11s. You will note that at anytime it is felt necessary to suspend a Specialist from duty there is a three-month window for prosecution to begin before the Auror is automatically returned to duty and cleared of all charges. You will the note that amendment 11s 12 states that if it is deemed necessary for the Specialist in question to be detained or formally arrested the window reduces to three-weeks to ensure that prosecution and investigation happen in a timely manner.  
At this point I would like the court to note that a formal arrest is any arrest which magical or physical force is used to subdue the Specialist. I believe you will find that in the report of Auror Kingsley he clearly notes that Specialist Auror Black was stunned during his arrest and shortly after he was then detained in Azkaban.  
I therefor move that a court date be set within the next week so that the public can feel safe in the knowledge that even a high ranking, well trusted Auror who is a future peer of the realm will face full investigation in these dark times.” Carefully nodding her head the witch sat down and out of sight of the rest of the court she gave Sirius a thumbs up.  
Crouch looked over to where the Chief Warlock sat hidden from the court only to find that at some point Dumbledore had left.  
“Very well,” he spat ” a court date will be set by the end of day today and announced in a public location at the start of banking hours tomorrow. Court dismissed.” In a flurry of robes Crouch practically ran from the court snapping orders at his aides.  
– – –

“Cousin, always a delight.” Sirius said affectionately wrapping an arm around the tall witch from the court.  
“Hmm, well I would usually say the same but you really do smell. ” she said wrinkling her nose with a smile. “Now, pretty soon Crouch is going to realise he has no time for political manoeuvrings and that means he is going to push back at us in return. The best chance we have of clearing Sirius’ name is if we find Pettigrew. Failing that we need to push for veritaserum in court.”  
“Well there is only so much a cleansing charm cast by someone else can do.” He said lightly before more seriously saying. “‘Dromeda, I’m not allowed to take veritaserum.” Sirius sighed.  
” Actually you can but you or Moody have to request its use and the court has to be cleared of the public. But it can be used, although I will admit it won’t be fun.” Andromeda Black said with a small chuckle.  
– – –  
After nearly a week of Crouch throwing around accusations he could never hope to up hold, days of Auror Dearborn steadfastly defending Sirius’ loyalty and honour and a week of Sirius asking the court to allow him to take Veritaserum permission was finally granted, the public gallery, Minerva McGonagall and Harry Potter were dismissed from the court. Sirius worked his way through the events leading up to the Fidelis being cast on Godric’s Hollow, somehow managing to avoid mentioning the feeling of anger and betrayal he had felt at the time. Emotion finally breaking though the serum Sirius’ voice cracked as he admitted that he had never been allowed to know who was the secret keeper. The judge moved on to ask about the night James died and after listening to the broken sobs that emerged after every other word of the description the judge gave in to Sirius’ lawyer’s demands for a break and a calming draft.  
When they returned to court the Judge asked one question, “What happened to the man you identified as Peter Pettigrew on the morning of the1st”  
“He was an animagus, a rat. Peter, James and I all became animagus at school. He changed on us and raced ahead. I couldn’t catch him. He changed back. Blew the street up and ran away. I didn’t even have time to lift my wand.” Sirius intoned in a blank voice, his eyes nearly shut from the strength of the draft he had been given. The Judge stared at him for a moment before dismissing the court.  
– – –  
“Sirius, here, he’s been asking for you for weeks…Sirius?” Tipping his head back felt like an act of war on his whole body but eventually Sirius managed to look McGonagall in the eye and twitch a finger to indicate she could put the squirming one year old in his lap.  
“Nuksiri! Hairy! Poo, stinky!” Sirius huffed a laugh as Harry tugged on the short beard that had grown during is imprisonment and while he quite literally lived in his boss’s office. After pulling his beard for a moment Harry tucked his head in to Sirius’ chest and quietly burbled himself to sleep.  
“Thanks Prof” Sirius eventually said tucking a tingling arm around the child and holding him tight. Eventually his cousin walked in from the chambers she had been summoned to nearly half an hour before.  
” How you feeling? I don’t think you mixed well with that calming draft”. She muttered crouching down to his level. Reaching out a hand she went to run a hand through Harry’s hair even as both McGonagall and Sirius shouted “Don’t…Damn” Andromeda was blasted backwards and Caradoc Dearborn shot through the door, wand out and looking for trouble. Raising an eyebrow he shook his head and back out of the room muttering “Really, Black, at least wait until the judge says you’re a free man before you start battering the family members.” Clearing her throat McGonagall offers her hand to Andromeda and pulling her to her feet she remarks. “Lily always did excel at complex and ancient charms. However you may want to think carefully about how you phrase requests when you ask people to care for Harry in the future. I couldn’t even give him to house elves. Albus was most displeased at the time I took off to care for him.”  
“Right, well… if you’re feeling a little more like yourself the judge wants us back in court.” Andromeda eventually muttered casting a worried look at Sirius’ slightly glazed eyes.  
– – –

Sirius walked to the centre of the courtroom slowly and gingerly sat in the chair, he waited for the straps and cords to wrap around him as they had all week long. When, after a moment, they hadn’t he looked up at the judge, who smiled slightly.  
“Specialist Auror Black, having reviewed the evidence provided to this court there was only one conclusion to draw. The evidence provided by the prosecution was unsubstantiated, hearsay and a few drunken identifications. On the other hand the defence provided clear, well-evidenced proof that along with your accounting of the events provided a clear image of the events. I find you not guilty of treason and not guilty of murder or attempted murder.  
However,” the judge paused and waited Sirius to meet her eyes “the court file seems to be missing your animagus license. As you are a law abiding citizen I assume that is an error on the Auror Office’s behalf and I expect a copy of your license to be sent on for my records as soon as you arrive back in your office.”  
Sirius slumped in the chair in shock and relief as the judge stood, raised her wand and declared.  
“Sirius Orion Black I hereby clear you of all accusations and proclaim you a wizard of good deed and intention. You are a freeman.”  
—  
Sirius left the court as soon as the Judge dismissed him and raced down to the Special Projects workroom. He grabbed a blank DOAT44- (Auror class) form and hurriedly filled it in dating it to over four years ago, hurrying in to Moody’s office he rooted though a small side board and pulled out a slim metal stamp. Grabbing the form he stamped it with the Special Projects release stamp from four years ago. The form glowed slightly as it accepted the stamp and became a legal document dating from 1982. With shaking hands he folded the animagus license in to a paper airplane and muttering a quick wandless charm he launched it in to the air.  
Crossing the workspace to one of three tiny offices that lined the opposite wall he quickly opened the door to the glass box office he shared with Caradoc. Sirius dropped into his desk chair and popped the magical lock box out from its recess on the underside. Pushing a tendril of magic forwards he let it slide over the box until it clicked and the wood slid apart. Lifting the lid off he sighed in relief at the site of his wand and wand holster tucked into the velvet lining.  
“Thanks, Car.” He sighed gently lifting it out and strapping it to his forearm. Finally looking up he notices the Aurors in the workroom looking at him, their expressions half wary and half impressed. Hands on wands they seemed to be waiting for him to announce his intentions. Standing he sauntered out of the office and propping a hip on the doorframe he smiled.  
“Don’t worry ladies and gentlemen this isn’t me staging a dramatic one man hostile take over of the ministry. This is me collecting my stuff and finally going home for a bath. Ah, ah, no one cheer too loudly, I know I smell and look a little scruffy but lets not damage the old ego too much. Okay?”  
– – –  
Finally managing to escape from the office Sirius dashed though the ministry to the foyer and with a great deal of luck he managed to avoid the reporters and slip into the apparition zone as the pack turned to photograph a red-faced Crouch shouting at his long-suffering aides. Letting his wand drop from its holster he twirled it gently before apparating away from the ministry with a hint of smile.  
—

Sirius arrived with his wand raised to a defensive position and his knees bent, ready to run or fight. The ground under his feet crackled with the frost of a late November evening. Sirius stepped forward two measured paces and felt ancient ward wash over him, caressing his core. Two rows of beech trees lined a narrow path in front of him and in the distance he saw a small group sat under a magical dome, house elves surrounding them.  
Slowly he walked towards them, his eyes closed. The cold wind washed over him pushing his lank hair off his face. He stopped, taking several deep breaths to fill his lungs with the biting cold. As he stood there he felt a familiar magic nudge him softly. Sirius crouched by the edge of the path and gently pushed an evergreen bush that grew around the base of a beech tree apart. Reaching out a shaking hand he traced a finger over the initials carved into the base of the tree the rune circle carved around them glowed as tiny amounts of magic were transferred. Pushing himself to his feet Sirius closed his eyes again and using memory alone he walked up the path to the dome. Voices and visions of happy teens and angry young men from days long past filling his senses as he walked.

“Sirius!” Minerva McGonagall exclaimed as he stepped through the wall of the dome, his eyes flickering open and settling on the sight of his godson playing with a house elf.  
“Thank you for caring for him, I, I’ll take it from here.” He walked over to a low stone bench overlooking a gated arch carved with angels and weeping faces and sat down drawing one knee up to his chest. Beyond the gate flowers bloomed in an everlasting spring maintained by magic nearly as old as England herself.  
“What are you going to do?” she asked softly taking a seat next to him, draping a thick, deep red cloak around his shoulders. The young man shrugged tugging the cloak closer.  
“Well, we need to find somewhere to live until the will is read. I’m pretty sure James left the estate to me but…” he trails off and shrugs. “I suppose in the long term I’ll go back to work so I’ll need to find someone to take care of Harry, I don’t want him to be alone or feel unloved. He should never have to know what it feels like to know that the people meant to care for you barely know you’re alive.” Sirius half flinched away as Minerva wrapped an arm around him and drew him into a hug. He let himself be drawn into the familiar warmth with a sigh. “But first. First I have to say goodbye.  
Alone. Well with Harry but alone.” He nodded at one of the elves. He pulled away from her and in one swift movement he tugged the cloak from his shoulders and tucked it tightly around her, fastening is neatly. Much like a son would do for a beloved mother. The house elf reached up and took McGonagall’s hand to lead her off the property.  
– – –

Sirius sank in to the short sun warmed grass between the two graves and crossed his legs. In line with wizarding tradition the graves had been flattened, the headstones aged and it seemed as though the bodies could have lain in the ground for years not weeks. Sirius felt a wave of sadness wash over him as he realised that part of his grieving had been stolen from him, that he would never get to sit by the fresh grave and weave his magic over it to create the aged look that would forever mark the resting place of his love.  
Laying a hand on the ground above where James’ chest would lay Sirius twisted his head to look over his shoulder at where Harry was still playing with the house elves. “Hey James, I would say sorry for taking so long but I kind of feel like it’s your fault. ” Sirius closed his eyes and let a memory of James, young, wild and dressed in quidditch leathers drift to the front of his mind’s eye. ” I was so angry with you. Merlin, I still am. It feels like you forgot everything we were over night. Do you remember what we promised each other? We said we would always be there for each other. That when we couldn’t run, couldn’t walk, when we couldn’t even draw the energy to crawl we would be there to carry each other. When you begged me to take the Specialist training and apply to Moody’s department I agreed. When you decided that you needed a child I agreed, I even helped you convince Lily it was a good idea while you acted like we had never been in love. Because I would have done anything to keep you happy even if it was killing me.  
When you needed your partner, your lover, your husband to be with you, I was. Well I’m carrying you now but where the hell are you! I can’t carry myself any more do you not get that! When did you stop seeing my heart, when did you stop loving me enough to carry me.” Sirius stopped realising that he had been shouting and he couldn’t hear Harry playing. After a moment Harry squealed with delight behind him and Sirius brokenly whispered, “What did I do to deserve this?” He sucked in several short, harsh breaths. “Will anything I ever do be good enough to earn me forgiveness for being born a Black or is Lady magic going to punish me for that forever?”  
“I’ve always been the one letting you go. I let you go when you were blinded by the awesome of Lily’s baby making pussy. I let you go when you decided to play Little Lord Fauntleroy instead of finishing Specialist training, I let you go when you didn’t want me as your secret keeper. I did everything I could to keep you close but it was like you didn’t even remember we were lovers and not just friends. I know I’m not someone who people love. I know I’m not light enough for true love. But to just forget me? I was always letting you run down your own path and I never told you how much that hurt.  
But I can’t let you go now.  
I won’t let you go now.  
I should never….”Sirius sat holding his breath until eventually he let it all out in one long sobbing breath. He panted in several breaths and stood slowly wiping the back of his hand over his eyes. Leaning forwards he ran his finger over James’s name and after a moment of hesitation he lent forwards and patted the picture of Lily.  
“Come on, Harry, we’ve got a portkey to catch.” He says loudly as the cold air stung his eyes and cheeks. Lifting the child into his arms drew him to his neck and whispered into his hair “I will always carry you.”


	4. Chapter 4

“JAMES POTTER, THE LIGHT LORD WITH A TASTE FOR THE DARK?” the headline screamed.  
“Today Albus Dumbledore, the esteemed headmaster of Hogwarts, announced that he would do all in his power to prevent the Potter fortune being poured in continuing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s war. Our intrepid journalist asked him exactly what made him think this was a risk. His reply? “As the executor of dear James’ will I have had the chance to look over the distribution of his estate. Some of the people and business named caused me some worry.” Although we pushed for more information Dumbledore would not let anymore slip.   
With Sirius Black’s name so recently cleared one has to wonder if the decision was a little hasty.  
When asked about the whereabouts of little Harry Potter Dumbledore merely shook his head with a look of great sadness.  
Have you seen our Saviour? Let us know (10 galleons awarded for featured items).”  
Sirius chucked the day old newspaper on to the rickety table, next to the secondhand armchair, angrily. He pulled himself up out of the burnt orange monstrosity and biting back a huge yawn shuffled from the room. After popping his head into the living room to check on the sleeping Harry he watched for a few moments until the urge to check the wards became too much. Quickly circling around the flat he pausing every now and again to strengthen a ward or deepen the carving of a rune. He stopped at the front door and frowning he looped a slightly stronger ward around the door. The magic flared as it mingled with the existing wards. Sirius lifted his head and cocking it slightly to the side he turned and as though some silent alarm had gone off he dashed into the living room. He dropped to his knees and reached out for Harry just as he started screaming in response to the magic.  
“It’s Ok, just Uncle Siri being forgetful. Nothing bad. Just me and you…” Sirius carried on muttering comforting nothings until Harry’s heartbroken sobs turned in to shaky broken breaths, the toddler trembling. Sirius knelt there twisted into an award position, leaning on the edge of the crib, holding Harry comforting and patting until eventually the child fisted a hand into Sirius’ robe and fell asleep. He felt his head jerk upwards out of sleep and feeling the ache in his body that told him he had been kneeling there for far longer than he intended. Stretching he stood, knees creaking and popping. Looking at the large clock in the corner he sighed and carried Harry into the kitchen to start making some lunch.  
\- - -  
Sirius sat at the kitchen table his ear resting on fisted hands as he slept. The late afternoon sun slowly creeping across the floor towards him eyes racing behind eyelids and skin twitching. The soft ping of the window wards made him twitch slightly but didn’t wake him, the thin walls and open door let Harry’s happy burble at the ping travel through the flat. A large barn owl circled the room slowly, dropped its letter directly in front of Sirius. It landed on the table and after twisting its head to look at Sirius with the far to intelligent regard of a ministry bird. It strutted forwards up his arm and on to his shoulder and bit his ear. Cursing loudly Sirius jerked upright with a flail and automatically offered the owl his forearm to stand on. The bird, which seemed utterly unperturbed by the flailing, regally stepped on to his arm and held out it’s leg so it was pointing at the letter. Sirius flipped the cream coloured letter over and sighed when he saw the purple ink. Casting a simple summoning charm Sirius held out his hand and waited for a small tin to land in it. He popped the lid off and offered the owl on of the treats from inside. The bird clacked its beak at him, accepted the treat and with a little hop took off.  
Sirius transfigured the box lid into a letter opener and with a practiced twist of the wrist he sliced the letter open and tugged it from its envelope.  
“I write to you, Sirius Orion Black, on behalf of the ministry of magic, the bench of peers and the Chief warlock of the Wizengamot have expressed concerns as to the safety and wellbeing of Harry Potter (Heir to the house of Potter and it’s inherent titles).   
You are required to present yourself and Harry before the Wizangamot at the next open session. “  
“Fuck!” Sirius tossed the letter onto the table before letting his head drop back down on top of it. Without lifting his head he summoned a patronus and without lifting his head to look at the stag he ordered it to go to Andromeda with the message,   
“Had a letter, need help. See you for high tea tomorrow?”  
Eventually he stood and walking to the food preservation cupboard he started to pull out ingredients for dinner, angrily flinging them on to the chipped and scratched counter top. As he stood chopping vegetables into a fine julienne the front door clicked shut. Dropping the knife Sirius lifted his wand and began to creep towards the hall drawing sigils in the air until the wards flared green and he relaxed, heading back to the veg. After a few moments Caradoc Dearborn walked in holding both of Harry’s hands as the young boy toddled into the room. Looking up with a charming smile Caradoc said,  
“You manage to sleep last night? I didn’t hear anything so I figured…” Sirius kept his gaze down, staring at the veg intensely as he muttered,  
“Wards… I didn’t want to disturb everyone again. Don’t want to wear out our welcome.” Sirius dropped the knife he was using on to the unit and turned to start cooking.   
Caradoc lifted Harry in to the highchair so he could watch Sirius work and announced to the room,  
“Right, well I’m going to get changed and then I figure we can come up with a better way of getting you to sleep. ‘Cos your way is shit my friend.” Sirius shrugged and carried on cooking with half an eye on the rest of the room. He shook his head as Caradoc cast a minor charm and purposefully twisted his hips with a swing that the stubborn muggle-born wizard had insisted on teaching to everyone at Hogwarts, staff included. His robes swirled dramatically around him and then strode from the room robes billowing out behind him dramatically. With each tiny flap or swirl glitter sparkles of witch light flickered of the bottom of his robes, Harry fell silent as he watched the lights and Sirius turned his head a little more, a small smile gracing his lips. As he swished out of the door the witch lights swirled together to make a fountain before rushing across the room and disappearing above Harry’s head. Sirius turned in shock as Harry squealed with delight and then took up chuckling as he clapped his hands and tried to grab the sparkling dots of magic. Smelling something Sirius turned and cutting off a swear he snatched the pan off the heat and began to hex it.   
“Well. Damn.” He muttered staring at the melted lump of metal on the floor.   
\- - -  
“So,” Caradoc said as they sat eating at the battered kitchen table. “This is a pile of cr…I’m mean what could they possibly do. You’re from an Ancient and Noble family, you have a job and you are his Godfather.” Sirius barked a laugh as he stole Harry’s spoon and popped another spoonful of food in to the boy’s mouth before giving him the spoon back.  
“I was disowned, in those kind of circles that’s a pretty big issue, I have a very dangerous job and I might be his Godfather but until Dumbledore stops messing about and lets the will be read I don’t actually have a legal standing. It’s assumed that I’ll be named his guardian but at the moment the only reason the let me have him is because of whatever spell Lily cast.“  
“You getting anywhere on that? And you really should eat something.” Caradoc prodded.  
“I ate at lunch” at Caradoc’s look he shoved a spoonful of the rather indescribable red mush into his mouth, he bit back a gag and swallowed quickly with a grimace. “No, Absolutely nowhere. What I did find though was traces of a Diligo to be specific a bound love spell. Not cast on Harry but he must have been in contact with someone who was under it fairly often.” Sirius shoved another forkful of the gloop into his mouth as Caradoc stared at him in shock. Sirius shut his eyes and tucked his chin into his chest as he forced himself to swallow again. He dropped his fork on the plate and shoved it to one side.  
“One, they are on the class 1 banned spell list aren’t they? And two, could you tell who’s magic it was? You should have at least been able to get male or female from it.” He replied easily falling into the pattern they used to bounce ideas off each other during cases.  
“Yup, I checked, it is definitely on the class 1 list and the caster was male. But not James. I would have known if it was. I’m sure of it” He said a little defensively “Besides 9 times out of 10 men use a potion to invoke or bind love,” he shrugs “It’s easier to hide and they are almost all undetectable.”  
“Your knowledge on this subject is kind of scary…. And just because it’s statistically more likely doesn’t mean it’s true.” As Caradoc finished speaking Sirius lifted his left hand and pointed to the signet ring he always wore.  
“ This is a Potter engagement ring. Like all of the Potter engagement rings it repels most mind-altering spells and most mind-altering potions. When they married James gave Lily his mother’s ring. Before you ask the rings bind to you once they recognise that the wearer has true love for the giver. They don’t come off and they can’t be taken back,” Sirius looked down at the ring sadly. “So that’s why I still… And I know all that shi…uff because like all Blacks I was meant to dabble in law for a few years before becoming a politician. My tutor forced all that information in to my head and it just refuses to leave.” He finished miserably.  
“So, that means…”Caradoc trailed off, he started to reach for Sirius’ hand but pulled back at the last moment  
“Most likely, there weren’t many people around in the last few weeks. Even I didn’t know where they were.” Sirius grabbed Harry’s bowl as is was shoved violently into the air and across the room by accidental magic. Picking the spoon up from where it had landed on the floor he offered another spoonful to him. Across the table Caradoc grabbed the pepper and generously dosed his food with it  
\- - -  
"When my sister had nightmares this was the only thing that could get her back to sleep." Caradoc said in the tired tone of a man who is sick of going around in circles with someone who is just being petulant   
"I'm not a child! Besides I don't think a Muggle cure is going to work on a wizard." Sirius replied with a childish pout, his arms crossed,  
"You're such a racist little princess some days" Caradoc cheerily laughed as he continued to set up the radio, "The whole idea is that the noise, music, talking, whatever keeps your brain from having the time to settle into thinking about bad stuff. I mean it won't be great, super restful sleep but at least it'll give you some." Sirius huffed and began setting up monitoring wards. "You do realise that you're turning to Moody right? The flat was already warded before you moved in and while I appreciate the lack of junk mail that your new wards have blessed me with, the door ward tried to eat the guy from next door this morning. I’m fairly certain that the mugs next door are not death eaters.“   
"Better to be Moody than dead."  
"Better to be most things than dead but down that path madness lies. I mean if you truly embrace the Alastor Moody school of thinking your face just won't stay that pretty. I think you have enough image issues at the moment without literally looking like a mad, bad and dangerous off the wall Auror." Sirius and Caradoc looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing. Caradoc twiddled the dial on the radio a couple more times before settling on an innocuous music and talk show.  
He started to leave before turning round in the doorway to say, "Do not cook tomorrow. I'm sorry but I really can't cope with that again. I …Just… please, no?“ Sirius laughed and let himself drop on to the bed waving Caradoc out of the room. 

Hours later Sirius woke to a soft wailing and heaving himself out of bed he staggered down the hall to the small living room. Pausing in the door way he watched Caradoc, dressed in battle robes, rocking Harry as the little boy cried his sobs broken by the occasional "Mum?" as the sobs trailed off Caradoc laid Harry back in to the makeshift bed and tucked him in stroking his cheek softly until he fell back into fitful sleep. Caradoc stood gracefully, robes almost soundlessly shifting round him, and turned to walk out of the room. He started when he saw a bemused Sirius watching him, crossing the room he prodded the other man out of the doorway and wordlessly walked into the kitchen and started to make some tea.   
“And I’m the paranoid one?” Sirius remarked softly, at Caradoc’s frown he added, ”Interesting sleepwear." A teapot and cup where dumped in front of him and Caradoc pouted at him.  
"Wards," he said eventually in a somewhat embarrassed tone "if you are going to be a ponce and have lemon you'll have to summon it for yourself. And I'm not being mother." Caradoc muttered sloshing tea into his mug and topping it up with milk before dropping into the chair next to his partner.  
Sirius tipped a tiny amount of tea in to the china cup and swilled it round for a moment before looking around then, shrugging, tipping the splash of tea into Caradoc's cup. Filling the warmed cup with tea Sirius summoned a lemon slice from the counter and squeezed the juice in.  
" You are so weird." Caradoc remarked as he watched Sirius' almost unconscious little ritual. The two men sat in silence for a moment their actions quietly falling into patterns worn deep by hundreds of late nights and the difficult cases that caused them.  
" Not weird, you're just a pleb." Sirius muttered in the tone of someone who has had the same discussion a thousand times. He tiredly rested his head on Car’s shoulder, the other man shifted carefully so he could still reach his tea before gently flicking Sirius’ overly long hair out of his face.  
"So the radio worked then?"   
"Sort of, I had the weirdest dream about Celestina Warbeck being chased by Dementors. I almost think I preferred the nightmares." Sirius said with a soft laugh.  
The two men sat in silence drinking tea until eventually the clock chimed. Caradoc dumped his mug on the table and shrugging Sirius’ head off his shoulder stood saying   
"Make me some toast will you, I need to go put on some slightly less intimidating robes and go to work."  
“Not a bloody house elf!” Sirius replied as he stood and headed to the kitchen.  
\- - -   
"Your wards are both terrifying and amazing! I didn't even know there were this many different types of Light magic wards." Andromeda said pushing past her cousin and in to the flat.  
"Hmm... Mostly light. Nothing outright Dark or particularly illegal." Sirius muttered, readjusting Harry on his hip as he glanced down the corridor and checked the wards carefully. Leaning out a little further he glared at the next-door neighbour’s door.  
"Particularly illegal? Should I worry about that?" Andromeda asked as she was shepherded past the living room and into the kitchen.  
"Aurors kind of get a free pass on wards. Our job has a tendency to follow us home, as long as there are no sacrifices or blood magic, well except our own of course, the ministry just registers it as a necessary precaution. Tea?"  
"Not if you're making it, where do you keep the things.” Sirius frowned and pouted at her before walking into the kitchen and pulling all the gubbins for tea out.  
"Oh, don't pout. That look was pathetic when you were 6. Besides for someone so good at potions you have an uncanny ability to make anything edible taste vile. So, I got the impression you wanted me to look at a letter?"  
Sirius grabbed the letter off the table and waved it at her before putting it down to try and pry Harry off him.  
"Come on, Harry, in the chair with you"  
"NO!" Sirius winced at the maximum volume reply and continued to try and detach the child until finally there was a flair of magic and Harry was literally stuck to Sirius' side. Sitting in a chair carefully, Sirius let his head drop back and took several deep breaths.  
" If you don't have lemon I may end you." Andromeda cheerily said gracefully dropping into a chair and magically guiding the tea set onto the table. "Hello little monkey," she cooed waving at Harry who buried his head into Sirius' shoulder and refused to look at her. "Well, at least I didn't get thrown in to any walls this time. I was so glad when ‘Dora out grew the clinging“ she said as she began to read the letter.  
“It is the little things." Sirius said carefully manoeuvring the hot tea around the small child. "So the letter?" he asked after a few moments  
"Totally legal, it's completely horrible but it is legal. Harry is a peer of the realm the bench does have the right to question your ability to raise him fittingly. It’s a rule that is nearly never used but it's never been revoked. I would say the bench was talked in to it."  
"Why? It's hardly like Harry has any distant relatives who could be hoping to get him. The law restricts to 4 steps of familial association right? So we should be fine? Lily’s family are all muggles and James didn’t have any close blood relatives.“  
"It does... but if you are said to be unfit and then the will names you as guardian that rule would apply to your family as well. Draco is about that age, Cissi could claim that she could be a better parent and Lucius is on the bench so they couldn't call him unfit. We could petition and get the minuets of the last bench meeting, that might help us see who was interested in interfering. I don’t see it being ‘Cissi. She can barely stand Draco never mind someone else’s child. ” Andromeda summoned some paper and began to write a letter.  
"If we're lucky it'll just be mother trying to make my life difficult."  
"And if we are unlucky?"  
"I don't know. I would have though Malfoy would be trying to keep a low profile taking in Harry would draw the media in and that must be the last thing he wants. Albus was always interested in Harry but I always figured that was because of James. James always did focus better recently if he knew Harry would be safe. That’s why Albus suggested the Fidelis, he has no reason to still be interested." Sirius picked a rich tea biscuit off the plate and offered it to Harry. "What if I'm not named in the will? What if they didn't name anyone?"  
"You're his Godfather, you are magically obliged to care for him. Legally unless someone else is named the godparents get custody. But you could be challenged in court if someone thinks they would be more appropriate. I don't really see what they think they would gain from it though, What ever Lily did is going to make it hard to argue that she didn’t want you to care for her child. To be honest you are in a strong position," Andromeda lifted Sirius' hand from the table and stroked a finger over the signet ring the flair of Potter magic bringing tears to Sirius’ eyes forcing him to take a deep breath as he quickly lifted his cup to cover his emotions. "Regardless of what happened James did love you, at one time, and your loyalty and devotion to him has never wavered. If you had been married and then divorced they wouldn't even dare to challenge your claim. But an engagement is still strong position especially with the ring.“ She said softly. Sirius pulled his hand away and wrapped his arms around Harry he bit his tongue to stop himself from telling her the truth.  
"They will use mother against me won't they?"  
"I don't really think that will be an issue any more. An Ancient and Noble family can't pass the title sideways. With Reg... Well I suspect the book of heirs would name you again. Unless your father was brave enough to have a bastard.” Andromeda chuckled at the thought “ She can throw you out of the family homes and kick you to the back of the line but she can't actually change your bloodline."  
"Mother would have killed him a little more slowly if that was the case." Sirius said with a humourless laugh, a look of relief on his face. " I guess that's one less thing to worry about."  
"Oh, she can still tell them how unfit you are and how you would teach Harry terrible habits for a peer to have." Andromeda shrugged folding and sealing the letter she had been writing. " I asked for all documents, transcripts and public memories that relate to Harry. I hope you remember how to research." She smiled meanly finishing her tea. She stood and with a wave to Harry she rushed out of the flat.  
\- - -

“So I have to go ou…” Caradoc trailed off as he stepped into the chaos that was usually his kitchen to hear Sirius beg,  
"Kill me? Please? I'll leave a nice note making you Harry's guardian, you'll be a wonderful parent!" In the middle of the kitchen Harry lay face down on the floor screaming and howling, his face red and blotchy with rage. The table and counters were over flowing with papers and memory orbs. Sirius had a painful looking bruise rising on one eye and long thin scratches running down one cheek. Sirius watched carefully as the tall man clenched his jaw and took a deep breath before saying,  
"Wow, I was only gone for 8 hours. What happened?" in a deceptively calm voice. Caradoc picked up the top piece of paper and then dropping it back on the pile he looked around the kitchen again. "Is all this about Harry?" Sirius nodded sadly from his position sat on the floor leaning against the counter. Taking a deep breath Caradoc lent down and scooped Harry from the floor and carried him down the hall to the bathroom. Sirius stood up and tagged along like a lost lamb. Ringing out a cold damp cloth Caradoc gently wiped Harry's face. The cold startled the toddler out of his screaming as Sirius watched on with a lost gaze.  
"Now I bet you have completely forgotten why you where screaming in the first place haven’t you? Now you’re all too hot and tired and I bet you have a headache." Passing Harry to Sirius he ignored the long sting of NO!'s coming from Harry and Sirius' terrified look and firmly said " you are both going to go and walk down the road and not come back until you feel much better and I've had a chance to find my kitchen." Sirius opened his mouth to argue and Caradoc talked right over him " I don't care.” He said firmly, “I do not care, Sirius. You're a wizard disillusion yourselves and piss off for a bit. I'm going stare-crazy never mind you two!" he pushed his way out of the room and walked back to the kitchen muttering under his breath. Sirius quietly summoned their coats and disillusioned first Harry and then himself. Carefully and quietly he crept down the hall and out of the front door. Making his way out of the block of flats Sirius shivered, carefully cast a dozen spells to reveal transfigured or disillusioned wizards or those in an animagus form before trying to walk down the road. After jumping, pulling his wand out and carefully inspecting the area around him 6 times in as many minutes he admitted defeat and sat down in a bricked up door way. He cast a temporary stake out ward and settled in cuddling the still angry and upset Harry to his chest.

When the cold had sunk to his bones, and he had cast 4 warming charms on the much calmer Harry, Sirius crept back into the flat. The smell of mulled wine and roasting beef greeted him, peeling off their coats he hung them up and cautiously entered the kitchen.   
Caradoc had his back to them, dressed in a tight tee shirt, which looked as though it had been painted over his shoulders and arms, and a pair of jeans he was leaning over a pan. Without turning he said, " I was just about to come and get you."  
"I... Sorry about earlier, sometimes I forget to not be an arse." Caradoc turned and lent on the edge of the stove.  
" I was kind of waiting for something like that to happen but you always have known how to pick your moments. You’ve been trying to hard to act normal. And Harry is 16 months old and probably utterly traumatised I come home every day half expecting you to have gone and the other half expecting to find Harry screaming and you... " He cut himself off and brushing the hair back out of his eyes he eventually said "you're stronger than that but this" he waved a hand " is enough to test anyone. Never ask me to kill you again, even if it is a joke. It just… Hit a little close to home. Okay?” he begged a little brokenly. "Just, never, okay” Sirius nodded swallowing hard Harry clenched to his chest a little too tightly.  
"So, how are you so good with kids... huh people in general I guess?" Sirius asked, desperately trying to lighten the mood, as Caradoc had passed him a glass of mulled wine and tugged Harry out of his arms for a cuddle.  
"You do remember that I'm the oldest of 9 siblings right? Besides most people not raised by house elves are better with people than you."  
"I wasn't raised by house elves!" Sirius replied a little defensively  
"Fine, a long string of emotionally detached nannies and au pairs then. But still that is hardly the best way to raise a child. Although I think most people would argue that my off the books scores at empathy magic have far more to do with it than the way I was raised." He passed Harry back and started to dish up the dinner.  
" You’re dressed... nicely?" Sirius said in an uncertain voice as he tilted his head as though it would help him understand the clothing better. Caradoc laughed and accepting the change of topic replied,  
"My sister informs me this is Muggle sexy bad boy these days." Sirius raises his eyebrows at him. " I'm going to meet my sister and her newest boyfriend at the pub, I figured I'd play the good big brother role and put a little fear into him," he said flexing his shoulder muscles and narrowing his eyes. His voice dropping to a low rumble.  
"If you do that all you're going to do is turn him on." Sirius laughed lifting one hand to fan himself mockingly, Caradoc frowned slightly and after a moment said,  
"Remind me to never take you out to a Muggle pub. You’ll get us beaten up. Or possibly start a sexual revolution in Luton. Either or with you, you can never tell."  
“Could be both!” Sirius said in a teasing tone. He frowned thinking for a moment then asked “Beaten up?" Caradoc Dropped two plates in front of Sirius carefully before dropping into the seat opposite him and resting his chin in his hands.  
"Muggles don't... Lets just say I'm glad that I turned out to be a wizard, it made my life a lot easier... and a lot safer," he finished almost under his breath. Sirius looked at him like he had more questions before deciding not to ask and started eating his dinner instead. "I'll be gone for about two hours and then I've got the whole week off. Don't start looking at that paperwork until I get back." Caradoc said pushing away from the table and heading for the door.  
"Are you not eating?" Sirius asked surprised, Caradoc laughed and slapped Sirius on the shoulder.  
"I cooked that for you, you look like you could blow away in the next stiff breeze and if you try to live off your cooking you could waste away entirely. I'm eating at the pub!" Sirius listened to Caradoc laugh all the way to the front door before muttering  
"There is nothing wrong with my cooking. I'm just out of practice." On his lap Harry burbled and grabbed a carrot from Sirius' plate.  
\- - -  
“Here!” Sirius leaps to his feet holding a piece of paper “Right here. The Chief Warlock asks for opinions on ‘the Potter’ situation, amazingly my mother doesn’t take it as an opportunity to slander my good name. In fact I think she may have accidentally helped my situation. Lucius makes some grumbly noised about me and how ‘Cissi would adore to take care of the ‘dear little thing’. Thing! No one seems particularly bothered and then suddenly the Chief Warlock is talking about how dangerous my job is, the fact I was accused of… He talks about me being disowned. He… He said James left me because he thought I was….” Sirius looked at Caradoc in shock and quietly muttered, “I’m not succumbing to the madness and James never thought that. Why would Dumbledore lie?“ Sirius passed the paper to Caradoc and started rooting through the collection of memory orbs. Finding the correct one he tapped it with his wand and threw the silver substance at the wall where it stuck stretched and began to play. When it ended the two men sat and look at each other for a while.   
“Well, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t like that when I joined the order.” Caradoc muttered. Sirius shook his head a dead look settling over his face.  
“He was always obsessive but I thought I could trust him to protect at least the people in the order. People he knows are light. He gave Snape of all people a second chance but someone who has proven over and over that they are working on the same side doesn’t deserve anything? What? He knows I’m on the side of the light so he can fuck me over and know that I’m going to come back and let him do it again! He can make it sound like I’m insane! Like James never trusted me!” Sirius flung the orb across the room smashing it into the wall “ I don’t know what the hell he wants with Harry but he isn’t getting it. I won’t let him make Harry a pawn in his game.” Caradoc stood and crossed to his friend. Wrapping one arm around him he drew him backwards into his chest and hugged him tight muttering,  
“I don’t think you're going insane, you are nothing like Bellatrix and I know James never even began to think that. Harry isn’t going anywhere. Even if that means we have to leave the country and go on the run for the rest of our lives.” Sirius lifted his hands so he could wrap his hands around the arms crossed over his chest.  
“We? Our? Like hell am I letting you fuck your life up over this? Harry’s my responsibility you don’t need to do anymore than you have.”  
“ Like hell Siri, I let you wander off on your own and the pair of you will starve. You’ve been my best friend for years, quite literally saved my life a few times. You have to leave. I’m going with you.” Caradoc let Sirius go after pressing a kiss to the side of his head. Reaching down he grabbed the document he had been reading before Sirius interrupted. ”I found this. It’s a license renewal for casting class 1 banned binding spells. At first it didn’t make any sense but when I read the letter Andromeda sent I noticed she had just put Lord/Heir Potter and the date she wanted from rather than a name.” Sirius snatched the paper from his hand and inspected it carefully.  
“Damn it, why do license renewals not have the name of the licensee on them?” Sirius growled “At least we know what to request now.”   
“Look at who permitted the license.” Caradoc muttered pointing to the scrawling signature of Albus Dumbledore. Around them the lights flickered and blew, the wards shimmered, rippling and from the living room a terrified scream started up as Sirius blasted a hole straight through the kitchen wall to outside with a wandless perfringo.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius stood in the backs of the block of flats slowly summoning and then floating the bricks of the kitchen wall back into place. Through the hole he could see Caradoc casting sticking charms on them as they arrived. Eventually he lost his temper with the careful and slow process. He cast a powerful weather shielding charm, then neatly cut his hand and cast a permanent sticking hex at the wall before blasting each remaining brick to pieces with a great deal of glee. Caradoc leant on the new charmed piece of wall and frowned at him. A loud pop made Sirius look up and a second later his ward pinged letting him know that a friendly magical signature had crossed it. Letting his wand drop he stepped forward to greet Moody. His boss just shook his head with a grin on his face as he growled,  
“Out of prison for less than two weeks and already casting blood magic. I’m not sure whether I should be impressed with your stupidity or if I should just wallop your arse.” Reaching Sirius he slapped him on the back of the head “fortunately for you I was on my way over here.” Moody cast a magically very loud spell, completely erasing Sirius’ signature. “Upstairs. Now.” 

Sirius and Moody sat on opposite sides of the kitchen table a bottle of Whiskey between them, after looking between the two of them when they reached the kitchen Caradoc had dropped the bottle between them and slunk off to his room with a book.   
“Albus has disbanded the Order, he works at the school and leads the wizangamot. He has made no comment on the Fidelis or who was the secret keeper. He has made no attempt to help us find Pettigrew, in fact he has refused to either confirm or deny that he was the secret keeper. He’s hiding something and that is not enough for me to get you permission to look in to him. The head of the Wizengamot is untouchable.” Moody grumbled knocking back his whiskey.  
“I don’t need permission to look, I just need you to keep people from looking at me.” Sirius said pouring himself another glass and offering the bottle to Moody.  
“You know, I think that even the sanest of men would lose it a little with all that has happened. I hardly have a reputation for picking the sanest of Specialists for my little team and the Blacks have never been known as vaguely close to sane. Looking to closely at your more obvious unhingedness could be discouraged.”   
“Gee, thanks!” Sirius knocked back his drink and shoved the two pieces of paper across the table to Moody. “Can you think of a way to find out who the license was given to?”  
“No. Renewals are public domain the original license is a controlled document. You could ask Albus but he was up to something. I always assumed that he just didn’t approve of you but obviously not.” The two men sat in silence pouring and drinking several more times   
“The chief warlock has to sign Class 1 licenses but what happens if the chief warlock is the one who wanted the license? Who would check and sign that?” Sirius asked suddenly his tone more thoughtful than questioning, he pushed away from the table and crossed to the bookshelf scanning the titles. Picking out two books he dropped one in front of Moody and began to scan the other. “Damn! Did no one even consider that? There are sub clauses covering magical creatures requesting a license and clauses listing when it would be appropriate for aurors to claim exceptional circumstances but nothing regulating the Chief Warlock himself. Just give someone the right to do whatever he or she wants with no monitoring! Fabulous.” Nodding in agreement Moody closed his book and asked,  
“But why? What would Albus gain from manipulating James’ love life? To be honest I always figured that you and James was something to be encouraged because James could control you, manipulate you. Ah, don’t look at me like that you know what I mean, you’re hardly the most politically minded soul and James was. James was raised in a light family and you in a dark, sometimes your behaviour is… telling. James tended to temper that, he corrected the way you acted and you didn’t even seem to notice.” Sirius frowned at Moody for a moment. “To someone like Albus the light, oldest, son of a dark family would be a powerful pawn.”  
“So what did he gain from separating us?”  
“Harry.” Caradoc said suddenly from behind Sirius, at the same time as Moody said.  
“James out of the Aurors” Sirius shook his head at Moody’s suggestion quickly saying,  
“I don’t think that was planned, Lily told James that she wouldn’t marry him unless he left. Said she couldn’t cope with watching him leave everyday knowing that he might not come home. She’d never mentioned it before but I don’t think she was being influenced. Lily always was kind of like that.” Moody started to ask why but Sirius just held up his hand and pointed to the signet ring.   
“So not magically influenced but there are other ways” he said instead, Caradoc laughed taking a seat at the table,  
“I have never known Albus Dumbledore to do something the muggle way if there is a magical alternative, I doubt it would even occur to him. It had to be about Harry, or a child anyway, if it was all about James why would he still be interfering?” the three men sat deep in though for sometime, occasionally one of them would suggest a theory and the others would reject it.  
“Albus hired a seer to teach divination at the school nearly three years ago. Divination hasn’t been offered in years.” Moody eventually said   
“I can’t think of a European school that offers divination as an actual subject. Unless you have the talent for it or a family history of sensitivity to the art it’s entirely useless.” Sirius said frowning.   
“Didn’t you take divination at the Auror academy?” Caradoc asked looking at Sirius a little oddly.  
“He had to,” Moody said.   
“There is a reason my family have always been a little… odd, even for pure-bloods. When untrained those with a talent for divination can quickly pollute their family magic, insanity isn’t all that uncommon. A whole family of untrained low-level diviners is certainly going to be a little unhinged. So they made it a condition of letting me into the Aurors.” Sirius said with a shrug. “So why hire one now? He needed a divination teacher when he had a gaggle of Blacks at the school and didn’t have one. It just seems a little odd to hire one now.”  
“I have a contact in the department of mysteries… I could ask some questions.” Caradoc offered.   
\- - -  
Long after Moody had left Sirius and Caradoc remained sat at the table drinking.  
“Okay, so I have some probably really stupid questions.” Caradoc eventually said.  
“I have one first. Are you as worried as I am that Harry hasn’t cried yet tonight?”  
“A little, I checked on him when I showed Moody out.” Caradoc answered with a shrug “So stupid question one,” he held up one unsteady finger “If that ring you’ve got is a Potter ring, and it stops you from being influenced. Why did James not wear one?”  
“Umm, because a Peer usually has a huge well of family magic to protect them even if their own core isn’t all that powerful. The amount of power needed to manipulate someone like James would be immense. And that is usually fairly obvious. Flashy even.” Sirius replied slowly.  
“So that just sounds like a ridiculous assumption to base your own and your family’s safety on but lets go with that. Stupid question two, Why are you not crazy then?” Sirius stares at him for a moment before huffily replying,  
“ I think that is rude not stupid. One, I’m trained and I’m not particularly talented in that respect just…sensitive to when events could affect the future in a big way. And secondly mixing your magic with that of another family tends to water down the crazy. That’s why ‘Cissi isn’t crazy… It’s also why Bella is a total crackpot.”  
“So you and James…”  
“Went to sleep one night during the summer before 6th year and work up the next morning bonded.” Sirius smiled softly. “That’s when he gave me the ring. My mother would never give permission for us to marry and as the head of my family she… after she disowned me it was never the right time, Auror training, the war… then James left. I thought the bond would break, they usually do. I should have known something was wrong. When he married Lily and the bond didn’t even flicker…a bond isn’t the same as a marriage.” Sirius tried to explain, struggling to find a way to lay out a concept that he had been raised with,”A bond is instinct. Magic grabbing love and holding it as tight as possible, it’s more powerful than a marriage in some ways. But it is not…legally. But then it is for some thing… I. I’m too drunk for this. It needs diagrams.” Sirius dropped his head to the table and just sat there staring at the dints and chips in the bare wood.   
“If you have Potter magic wouldn’t that automatically make you the best person to raise Harry?” Caradoc asked after a few minutes, he let his long legs stretch until his feet knocked against Sirius’.  
“No,” Sirius said to the table “I’m not using that, despite everything Lily was my friend. She doesn’t deserve to have the image of her marriage pulled apart.”  
“Sirius, She’s dead, what difference will it make?”  
“When Harry goes to school every pure-blood there would know that he was the product of an un-bonded marriage, in some ways that’s worse than being a bastard! And Lily’s work, her charms, her book. They were only ever taken seriously because she was married to James. If I ruin that image I would be responsible for her work being ignored.” After a few long moments Sirius feels Caradoc squeeze his shoulder as he walked away. The door to the living room opened and then shut.   
Eventually Sirius followed him and found him sat on the worn leather sofa watching Harry sleep.  
“You know I used to watch my sisters sleep. I’d come home for the summer and mum would be working. Dad was overseas more than he was home. So it would just be me babysitting, I’d sit and watch them. Part of me would be hoping that they had magic because then they would have some chance to see how amazing the world is, they’d have a chance to do a mastery or go to university. We couldn’t afford that in the muggle world. But higher education is practically a right in the wizarding world. It’s included in most jobs. Do you realise how… Amazing that is.  
The rest of me dreaded that day one of them would get a letter. It’s so hard being a muggle-born wizard, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for witches. You can have any job a wizard has, the pay will be the same, you get the same employment rights but in other ways the wizarding world is entirely backwards. You will always have your work doubted, if you get married your husband literally owns you, if you marry another woman then the more powerful of you is given the legal position of a man. Husbands are regularly killed by their wives because it is the only way for a witch to truly be free is to be a widow!” Caradoc stops his jaw clenched tight and his fists balled, “But you know what? If Lily was one of my sisters I would give you permission to ruin her good name, the image of her marriage because Harry is more important than all that. You will have years to change how people see Harry but you’ll only get one chance to keep custody.” He turned to face Sirius, drawing one leg up on to the sofa “ You have to decide if avoiding a prejudice is more important than keeping your child. Because you can’t tell me that you think Harry is anything less than that. For all your acting like a pretentious snob you stopped being one years ago, you don’t judge people on their blood status or their parents. You are a good man and whatever you decide I’ll stand with you whether we fight or let go.” Sirius stared at him for a moment running a hand over his mouth and down his chin. Eventually Caradoc looked away and chewing his bottom lip went back to watching Harry.   
Sirius stared at the side of his head until eventually he whispered, voice cracking. “How long?” Caradoc glanced at him and laughed sadly, not even pretending to not know what the question was.  
“Since the day you hexed Rookwood for cornering me in the bogs and trying to make me…Live down to my blood status on my knees” he shook his head, “you were a year above me, on the quidditch team, champion of the dueling club and completely head over heels for someone else. It started off as hero worship but I was fifteen so…” he took a deep breath, glanced at Sirius’ face, his eyes wide and his mouth a little open. Caradoc bolted from the room.  
Sirius looked at Harry and letting himself slump back into the corner of the sofa he breathed, “Damn” shutting his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

“Sirius Black, the bench of Peers has called doubt upon your ability to raise a peer of the realm to the standard our fine isle deserves. Having reviewed your social and family alignment, your state of employment and your education, in every respect. The Wizangamot will now vote on whether you shall be allowed to continue as the guardian of Heir Potter.  
Is there anything you wish to say before the vote is cast?” Dumbledore looked down at Sirius through his silver spectacles, fighting the tiredness that haunted him Sirius nodded firmly before replying.  
“Yes, regardless of the outcome of your vote I refuse to acknowledge the decision of this gathering until such a time as the will of James and Lily Potter is read. This gathering does not have the power to overturn the guardianship decisions of the deceased head of a family. The law clearly states that the Wizengamot may only interfere when guardianship is conferred by the will of a lower member of the family, by right of godparent, or by indirect relation. “ Sirius watched Dumbledore’s face closely as the old man stared at him the twinkle gone from his eyes and replaced with a hard, cold look. In a tone entirely contrary to his look he said,  
“The executor of the will has suspended the reading until such a point that there is no risk of funding the war efforts of dark families.” Murmurs started among the gathered witches and wizards.  
“The war is over! You have admitted that yourself, why else would you have disbanded the Order of the Phoenix?” Sirius snapped taking three strides forwards until he was nearly pressed against the plinth Dumbledore stood on. The hours of watching his life and his every decision being dissected finally becoming too much. As he opened his mouth to begin to curse the meddling old man out an ancient wizard with a shock of red hair stood from the Peers bench. The wizard thumped his walking stick against the bench, causing the wizards on either side to flinch,  
“Albus,” he started in the tone one might use to tell off a wayward puppy “You will stop your ridiculous manipulations and release the Potter will for reading even if I have to march you down to Gringotts and repeatedly hit you with a stinging curse to make it happen! Now let us get this nonsense over and done with, some of us do not have the bladders of a 100 year old!” with that he dropped back on to the bench with a firm nod. Raising his eyebrows Sirius backed away from the plinth carefully fully aware that the Weasley patriarch had a rather short temper and was well-known for his vicious and swift hexing.  
“Very well.” Dumbledore said in a subdued tone “Let us vote! Red for a change of guardians, green for Sirius Black.” A mixture of red and green witch lights flew to the roof and began to sort themselves in to rows of 12, the sides matched for a moment as the room waited for the last three to cast their votes. One red, one green, Sirius looked at the peers bench and realised his mother had yet to vote. With a smirk she raised her wand a flicked a red light into the air. The chamber willed with red light. She looked down at her son and smile at him sweetly before beginning to laugh.  
“Very well” Dumbledore said with an edge of glee to his voice over the laughter. “Shall we go to the will reading?” Sirius nodded numbly without looking away from the now hysterical Black matriarch as she began to cough and splutter.  
“Well, you did do rather well on the madness front for a while there mother.” He said as he turned to leave the court shaking his head. Behind him Lucius could be heard shushing the mad woman in a practiced manner.

Outside Sirius stood with his head resting against the wall tiredly, he let his eyes shut for a moment as a yawn shuddered through him. He thought back over it all and found himself infinitely glad that he had begged Caradoc into staying at the flat with Harry. “Not good, this is so not good.” He muttered to himself. Pushing off the wall and brushing his robes flat Sirius made his way to the lifts and prepared himself to push through the pack of journalists bound to be waiting to hound him. When he arrived at the top he was amazed to find the foyer empty except for two Aurors from Special Projects on the doors and another leaning next to the lift lazily bobbing her foot as she waited,  
“Figured you could do without the bother today!” she said with a smile as they quickly made their way to the apparition point. “So where you off to?”  
“Gringotts” he sighed dread building in his stomach as he tried to figure out why Dumbledore had given in so easily. What did the old bugger know?  
“Hmm…” the Auror poked through her pockets until she eventually handed him a scruffy, dirty money bag. Sirius took it off her with two fingers and a grimace as she said. “Permanent portkey, drops you right in the waiting room for the private booths, code word is Spinkyaxe.”  
“I’ll make sure you get it back.” He assured her, wrapping one hand around her upper arm in thanks before squeezing and letting go.  
“Not a problem. Just drop it on the floor and it’ll pop right back to me. First charm I put on it when they gave it to me, I’m forever losing things like that.” Shaking her head she wondered off to escort the members of the Wizengamot who were arriving. Casting a grin at the Aurors on the doors he twisted the bag and said the word.  
– – –  
Sirius settled in front of the large leather topped desk tapping his fingers on his thigh as he waited for the account manager to come back. On the other side of the room Dumbledore sat regally in a deep, plush armchair. They sat in silence for a long time until eventually Albus began to speak in his most charming, wise old man voice,  
“My dear boy, I do hope that you know that this wasn’t about you at all. You see…” Sirius cut him off, carefully channeling all of the slimy rich boy attitude he could muster into his voice and body language as he drawled.  
“So when where you planning to step in and clear my name? After you had positioned Harry right where you wanted him? Or was I just not that important of a player in your game? Were you just going to keep me out of your way forever? After all you had already torn my heart to pieces, why not finish by destroying my sanity?” he locked a cold stare on the man and reinforced his occulmency wards.  
“Sirius, you meddle with magic you do not understand. Lily created a powerful blood ward, as she had not locked it to anyone it will settle itself on her closest blood relative. Harry will be safest with Lily’s sister, you must see that.” The old man said with true conviction.  
“Safest with Petunia?” Sirius exploded out of his chair all pretence gone. “Petunia hates everything to do with magic. She despised her sister, refused to go to her wedding and didn’t even tell Lily that she was getting married. Petunia Evan was, is, a bully and worse than that she encouraged the bullied of others. Oh don’t look at me like that old man! Do you want an example? I may never have liked him but Severus never, ever, could have deserved having Petunia telling his father every little thing that he did. She knew he was beating him and she made sure that each and every one of those beatings was far worse than it would have been if she had said nothing. She is one of the cruelest, most vindictive and malicious women I have ever meant and I cannot imagine that she married a man so different from herself “ by time he finished Sirius stood inches from Dumbledore, his wand in his hand and a hex on the tip of his tongue.  
A strong and impenetrable shield wrapped around him and he was neatly deposited in his seat the shield collapsed sweeping over him, neatening his robes and smoothing his hair. The account manager sat on the other side of his desk with one pointy, snarky little eyebrow raised. Sirius pulled a face at him  
“You are fortunate that I have known you since you were an irritating and ugly little brattling, Heir Black” the battle-scarred goblin remarked lightly. Sirius cheered silently at the subtle confirmation of his rank within his house. “Now to begin the reading of the will you each need to place one drop of blood on to the scroll. If one of you is not welcome at the reading the drop will flair and you must leave before the scroll will open.” The goblin pricks his finger and pressed a drop of blood to the scroll before proffering it to first Dumbledore and then Sirius. The scroll unraveled revealing its self to be a short document. The account manager began to read.  
“This will was last updated on the 10 June 1979 in the presence of Lily Potter nee Evans and Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and account manager lower 1st class Grindstone of the Heftingaxe line. The will is being read in the presence of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Sirius Orion Black reus Potter and account manager upper 1st class Grindstone of the Heftingaxe line.

In the words of Lord James Charlus Potter:  
To my lovely Lily, I leave all my worldly possessions with the exception of my title and the ancestral manor.  
To my oldest of friends, Sirius Black, I leave my greatest admiration, my greatest respects and finally my title and Potter manor.  
In the event that both my wife and I die I leave all my worldly possessions to Sirius Black.

This is the final will and testament of James Charlus Potter, so mote it be.” Sirius quickly leapt in before Dumbledore could speak “does worldly possessions include children?”  
“Under current wizarding law people may not be considered possessions belonging to an individual, only to a house. A law I believe was put into place in order to stop wives being passed on down the family line.” The goblin replied with a disgusted look.  
“Would Gringotts be willing to oversee and document the moving of one Harry James Potter from the care of his, unfit, guardian Sirius Orion Black to the current head of the Wizengamot so that a more suitable guardian can be appointed?” Dumbledore asked leaning forwards in his seat.  
“I am afraid I will have to decline, Mr. Dumbledore. The Goblin nation believes that in circumstances where no guardian is named the godparents are the elected guardian. What sort of parent would change their mind about a Godparent and then not mention it in their will?” the goblin smiled in a rather nasty way before waving them both out of the room and looking down at the paperwork on his desk, ignoring them.  
“Never mind” Dumbledore remarked “Bring Harry to the school tomorrow. I’ll find a witness.” Sirius stood from his chair and quickly snarled.  
“With the whole of the Potter estate behind me? I could bankrupt the whole of the ministry before I had to stop fighting to keep him. As the muggles would say ‘I’ll see you in court’” Sirius stepped up to the goblin at the desk and quietly asked for a private meeting. Seconds later Dumbledore found himself being whisked out of the door by magic and Sirius grinned as the room began to rearrange itself into a more cozy layout. The goblin he had know for his entire life bared teeth at him in a friendly smirk and offered the young wizard a drink.  
– – –

Sirius crept through the door of the flat shutting it almost silently behind him. Dressed in his ’muggle badass’ clothes Caradoc was leant in the doorway of the kitchen. Through the doorway Sirius could hear Harry squealing and chattering away, every now and again a young woman’s voice would say something back. Caradoc pull the door shut and motioned for Sirius to follow him. Caradoc tugged Sirius into his bedroom,  
“My oldest sister, she’s a paediatric nurse. I figured it might do Harry some good to be around women and for someone who knows something about children to have a look at him.“ Caradoc explained as Sirius glared at him.  
“No problem with the…” Sirius etches a strange shape into the air. “And does she know about magic?”  
“Nope and no, doesn’t seem to see muggles as a threat.” Caradoc replied with a shrug. Sirius shrugged and said,  
I’ll just… go and get changed then.” He stood there for a moment before saying “I only have robes?” in a slightly distressed tone. Caradoc laughed at him, leant in to the wardrobe and then threw an outfit at him before shooing Sirius from the room.  
By time Sirius made his way in to the kitchen Caradoc had Harry and his sister seated at the table and was busy cursing something called a ‘fridge’ for letting the milk go off. Looking at the collection of tea things scattered around the kitchen Sirius turns to the pretty muggle and asks “Lemon?”  
“Well I‘ve never tried it before but anything sounds better than cottage cheese in me tea. “ she replied with a smile. “Bonny lad you’ve got here, missing his milk a little I’d say but that’s pretty normal given… cow’s milk just isn’t the same really. “ Sirius nodded along with her blankly as Caradoc slammed the tea service down on the table muttering,  
“No! Don’t bother yourself mister ponce. I have this amazing ability to fetch milk and make sandwiches at the same time.” Sirius looked at him with wide eyes and in a confused voice said, “Lemon? No… I’ll go to that shop on the corner shall I?” Caradoc looked between the lemon Sirius was holding up and his sister with surprise and shrugging started to gently mock her for ‘ having thoughts above her position, taking lemon and all’ while he collect a glass of water from the tap for himself. Cutting the lemon Sirius offered the other man a slice. Caradoc took it from him with a laugh and dropping it into his glass. “Are all you rich people worried about scurvy or something?” His sister leant over and punched him in the arm sharply.  
– – –

“ There are easier routes, Siri, ones that will end this quickly.” Andromeda said looking up from the pile of papers in front of her. Sirius shrugged easily,  
“I don’t care about quick, I want the world to know exactly how he manipulated us all around him like pieces on a chess board. Besides if he is doing it in this war he must have done it in the last one.” Sirius finished reading the page he was on and made a note on the pad next to him. He dropped the quill onto the table and stood, stretching. He made his way around the table to the magical playpen and crouched to chat with Harry for a moment. Sighing he turned to look at his cousin and quietly said,  
“The lengths he has gone to, to get hold of Harry. You have to wonder what he would have done to stop his, once, best friend from committing genocide. What are three children compared to a whole population? What sort of monster the man had become I could never get how Grindelwald could have suddenly decided that the only way out was to kill his own flesh. Even my mother could see that.” Andromeda looked at him sadly for a moment before saying.  
“Merlin. And who would believe the lunatic if he said Dumbledore did it! Sirius. I think you need better wards.”  
“No. What I need is more than 48 hours to prepare for this court case. And for the fucking nightmares to stop.” He ran a hand through his hair stopping at the nape of his neck to gather it into a loose ponytail. He sighed heavily and dropped down to sit on the floor leaning against the playpen. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Sirius? Up and at ‘em big guy.”  
“Who you calling big guy? You’re are built to epic proportions. I suppose you could call Hagrid big guy…” Sirius trailed off tiredly and he force his head back up from where it had slumped on his chest. Plucking the blanket from around his shoulders he held a hand out to Caradoc so he could get pulled off the floor. Looking around his parter’s shoulder he saw Andromeda slumped on top of the paperwork fast asleep.  
“What time is it?”  
“Nearly dawn.” Caradoc said softly. “I figured you could wake her up. I’m only brave enough to poke one Black.” Sirius frowned at him mockingly. “Hey, I like my fingers.”  
“‘Dromi. Time to go, McGonagall will be here in half an hour.” With out lifting her head Andromeda summoned the tea-pot from the kitchen and topped up her cold tea from the night before. As Sirius watched on horrified she sat up and knocked it back like a shot.  
“I’m good.” She said standing and beginning to collect the paperwork into some kind of order as Sirius bustled about trying to collect Harry’s things together until Caradoc eventually snapped and sent him to get the little boy dressed instead of,  
“Pissing about like a be-fuzzled blathered bee!”

– – –  
With a pop Sirius, Caradoc and Andromeda arrived in the foyer of the Ministry of magic, the Christmas holidays having finally arrived meant Harry had been left with McGonagall, safe in her cottage in the Highlands. Carefully, and with a practiced stride, Caradoc and Sirius pressed their shoulders together and cut a path through the ever-present hoard of journalists so Andromeda could walk regally behind them. Stepping into the lift they kept their backs to the crowd as Andromeda stepped between them and pressed the floor they wanted.  
In the lift Caradoc turned to the other two and firmly said, “Losing is not an option and remember if it looks like it’s going badly send me a memo and I’ll put plan B into action.” The lift shuddered to a halt in the corridor leading to courtroom 5. Sirius stood his foot against the door to stop it opening.  
“I’ve changed my mind! I’m going back to work instead. Moody won’t notice that I’m three months early, will he?” Sirius said turning to face Caradoc who had turned around completely and was leaning against the back of the lift in his Auror uniform with a bemused look on his face. Beside Sirius Andromeda rolled her eyes reached up and grabbed a chunk of Sirius’ hair and dragged him out of the lift with a firm grip saying,  
“Come on, dear, pull your big girl pants up and let us go kick some arse!” Caradoc crumpled with laughter as the lift closed and whisked away, Sirius turned to Andromeda with a look of horror,  
“Marrying a Muggle definitely did something terrible to your vocabulary.” He muttered following her down the corridor and through the doors of the court smoothing a hand over his hair to settle it back in place.  
– – –  
The courtroom was packed, the bench reserved for the Wizengamot had been doubled in size and members of the Wizengamot had transfigured things into chairs in order to have enough seating. The public bench was overflowing and in the centre of the court the judge sat behind his podium with Andromeda and Sirius sat directly in front of him. Sirius was casually sprawled in his chair, long legs stuck out in front of him crossed at the ankles, his robes still impeccably placed and unwrinkled despite the hours of back and forth-ing in the court. Andromeda was perched on the edge of her chair and as Dumbledore, who had been speaking, sat she leapt to her feet and began to lay out her final argument in the confident cultured tone of a woman who just knows she is going to win.  
“Regardless of whether you care for any of the other evidence that has been produced, there are some irrefutable facts which cannot be denied. Lily and James Potter were married in the view of the law only, they were never bound by magic.  
To claim that their marriage was anything more than an arrangement by which to produce heirs is a joke. Lily Potter may have been James’ wife but she was nothing more than that. She was never entitled to be called Lady, or use the title Duchess, such titles are passed on through magical binding as I am sure you all know. Their, half, marriage means that the child was born and remains the legal property of Lily Potter, James’ magic didn’t support or sustain her through the pregnancy or birth and there are no records of a magical adoption.  
The child cannot be considered James’ heir as Lily never gave Harry to James. With Lily deceased the child then becomes a part of the estate and must be dealt with via those bylaws not an heir-law.” Andromeda stated simply, with a small confident smile. As she finished speaking Sirius, for the first time in the entire trial, stood and quietly, hesitantly, with his nervous tick making him spin the ring on his finger said.  
“James left the Potter estate and its inherent titles to me. But the truth of the matter is they were always mine. Inheritance law has always placed magic above legal standing… “  
“Your failed romance with James Potter hardly entitles you to his estate, and while he may have named you in his will, you were not named guardian.” Dumbledore exploded rising to his feet, Sirius refused to look away from the point on the wall he had been staring at as he calmly replied,  
“My ‘failed romance’ may not but our magical binding most certainly does.” The Wizengamot exploded in to conversations and arguments around Andromeda and Sirius. Dumbledore stood stock still, his glare locked on Sirius until eventually he yelled, “Silence!” Shaking with anger he spat, “You. You stand there, scion of one of the darkest houses in Britain, and expect this venerable gathering to accept your slander. First you accuse me of using my position as executor of the will to weaken your position, then when that fails, you accuse me of abusing my position to manipulate the line of inheritance and finally when all else fails you, you use a long broken bond and an ancient, long unused piece of law to try to cling to the Potter boy.” The old man slammed his hand down onto he wooden rail infant of him causing a flare of magic to run along it.  
The judge finally saw fit to interfere and banging the gavel on the bench several times he stared at Dumbledore until the man retook his seat. “Albus, I would carefully consider how you conduct yourself in my court if I were you. You may be Chief Warlock but this is my courtroom. The evidence provided by Specialist Auror Black is quite sufficient for me to consider having you detained by the court until a trial can be heard. Merlin, to even consider using a Class 1 binding spell on a Peer!” He continued to stare at Dumbledore until the man was pressed back in his chair. Turning to Sirius he said, “he is correct the law you stated is old, ancient even, however it does still stand as law. But the onus is on you to prove that you are the magically bound partner of James Potter, there by showing the Lily Potter was not. How do you intend to demonstrate that to this court?” The judge asked raising his eyebrows. Sirius Smirked at him and cheekily said,  
“ I believe that a full Myrddyn test will suffice?”  
“Indeed” the Judge nodded and quickly produced a license for the spell to be cast and motioned for the Aurors around the room to re-enforce the wards simply saying,  
“I imagine this will be rather impressive. I do remember the incident with the cells, Auror Black.” Sirius’ smirk just got bigger and as he glanced down to check if the Aurors were ready he caught sight of his mother pinching the top of her nose with an exasperated sigh.  
Taking a deep breath and with a preemptive wince Sirius fired a powerful spell at the ward surrounding the court with a blinding blaze of light. He tended and waited for it to bounce back to hit him.  
With a gasp of pain Sirius doubled over and magic filled the courtroom, a beautiful diagram outlining his bloodline, his inheritances, current rank and his bond status filled the court with glowing lines of different colours. Sirius’ bond status hovered directly in front of the Wizengamot’s bench a delicate outline of the Black and Potter crests intertwined together, the family mottos blended together underneath ‘ecgþrace,unswice,ingeþanc á beorht!’ The words were written in pure gold and in a handwriting that was as familiar to Sirius as his own and which made his heart ache.  
The entire court room sat in silence as the spell hung in the air for an impressively long time like a silent show of strength. Eventually it dimmed and instead of fading it broke apart and fell to the floor in multicoloured witch lights. The judge cleared his throat and after giving Dumbledore a hard look he nodded to Sirius saying.  
“The evidence has been provided and judged. Harry Potter is not the concern of the Wizengamot, he stands outside of your purview and the matter of his guardianship is the responsibility of the head of his family as named in James Potter’s will.” The judge dismissed the court and with a twitch of magic summoned Sirius to his chambers.  
Sharing a look with Andromeda, who shrugged rather unhelpfully, Sirius followed the judge through the back corridors of the courtrooms to a brightly lit office. The judge sat and motioned for Sirius to do the same, “Auror Black-Potter you will deliver all of the evidence you have collected to my chambers so that an investigation into Albus Dumbledore may begin.” He said formally handing Sirius a scroll. Rolling his neck the judge lifted his wig off and shrugged his thick outer robe off his shoulders before dropping into his chair and in a more relaxed friendly tone asking, “Sirius, be fully honest with me, how far back do you suspect this corruption runs.” Sirius looked the other man sadly and with a shake of his head told him,  
“Dumbledore has been meddling with inheritances and family lines as far back as I could look. His position at Hogwarts and on the Wizengamot has given him the ability to influence friendships in childhood and marriages when those children become adults. We all trusted him to know best. I mean who wouldn’t trust the man who brought down a dark lord single handedly, he could have asked for the moon and we would have handed it to him trusting that he would put it to good use. And as we have seen, if he doesn’t get his way he uses less than legal methods.”  
“What did he want with the boy, it seems a lot of meddling to gain just one child. A rich child. A powerful one I’m sure considering his lineage.” The judge asked leaning forwards, Sirius rested his elbows on the desk and twirled the ring on his finger thoughtfully.  
“ I have no idea, but I am sure he will try to convince us that it is for the good of the people. Someone with better contacts or with the power to push might be able to get something more but the most interesting thing I found out is that there is a prophecy about a child born in July but that is all the department of mysteries would tell me. Might not even be Harry, the Longbottom boy was born the day before.” The two men sat in silence for a moment until eventually the judge offered Sirius his hand.  
“Lord Potter, Heir of house Black Iw wish you the best of futures with your new son.” Sirius smiled sadly and shook the older man’s hand firmly before taking his leave to collect his son. As he waited for the elevator he snatched one of the inter-office memos from the stationary desk and scrawled a quick note to Caradoc telling him to meet them at the Manor when he left work.  
– – –

With Harry perched on his hip Sirius walked down the long gently curved path lined with Beech trees, past the carved tree. As he passed he purposefully refused to let his gaze fall on the gothic arch leading to the family graveyard. In the distance the house began to appear over the top of bare trees and the winter-dead garden. The path twisted round once more letting them see the full grandeur of the manor. Stood in front of the entrance hall was an old, powerful house elf wearing the deep red uniform of the Potter head elf, beside her was a younger elf wearing a paler shade of red cut to allow for the chasing and catching of small children.  
“Master Black-Potter I have long awaited your return to your true home. It is the honour of Galiee and Pebbs to welcome you home.” The older elf said offering him a hot toddy even as the younger elf held her arms out for the squirming Harry. Sirius bit back the urge to grimace at the hot toddy not wanting to offend the elf only to be surprised when he took a sip to find it laced heavily with cinnamon to hide the taste of hot whiskey. The elf met his eye with a raised eyebrow and a knowing look. Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes in return.  
“Pebbs!” Harry squealed waving his arms at her and leaning towards her. Passing the child down Sirius watched with amusement as the two clung to each other, Harry babbling away snuggled against his much missed nanny elf. Galiee lead Sirius in to the house bemusedly saying “Pebbs, wanted to come to the little master many times but the family magic was binding us here until the next lord came.” With a graceful gesture, Galiee ushered Sirius through a door in to the Lord’s study. On the desk sat a small unassuming box with the Potter crest carved in to the top even from the door Sirius could feel the raw power thrumming from it. Sitting in the large desk chair Sirius pulled the box towards him, the ancient magics imbued in it prickling through his entire body as it inspected him. The lid lifted off easily with a press of his thumbs and Sirius sighed in relief as the magic accepted him instead of leaving him drooling on the floor. The family ring sat in the centre of the box, a large deep red ruby carved with the family crest was set in a mithril band. A plainer gold version was tucked against it and the family seal lay along the back of the box it’s chain neatly looped around it. Reaching out a trembling hand Sirius ran a finger over the gold ring that had rested on James finger for years. A ring that Sirius had the honour of placing on James’ hand before it all went to hell. Lifting it from the box he carefully inspected it finding no evidence of the fight that had ended the last Lord’s reign. His breath caught in his chest and a tear fell hitting the ring with a spark of magic. Behind him he heard Galiee gasp in surprise as magic flooded through the house from the magical gift of a freely shed tear. Shaking his head to clear the tears Sirius dropped the ring back into the box, snatched the ruby out and shoved it on his finger before he could change his mind.

A burning filled his body as he was judged, knowledge poured into his mind as the family magic accepted him. He rocked forward and let his head rest on the desk as dizziness flooded him. Family history, spells and charms known only to the Potters and the weight of every ward and shield held by the family magic settled on his shoulders like a sledgehammer to the neck. The memories of every man or woman to have worn the ring floated at the edge of his mind, Sirius closed his eyes and with a firm grasp, grabbed James’ memories and shoved them into a lock box as even the feeling of them filled him with pain. He sat with his head resting on the desk for what felt like hours as he tried to untangle his own memories from the family history. He stopped and watched one of James’ father’s memories, he watched himself , young, drenched and defeated looking trudge up the path of the manor. His eyeliner streaking and an impressive bruise forming across the left side of his face from his mother’s firm right hook. For the first time he realised that he had become a Potter the moment Charlus had wrapped him into a hug and told him that he would always have a home. That as the Lord had healed his bruises and broken bones he had taken the opportunity to wave a little family magic through him so the wards would always welcome him.  
Lifting his head and twisting the chair he turned to look at the portrait of Charlus Potter, the painting looked back at him and sighing it sadly said, “Well off to the family gallery with me then, I had rather hoped to hang here at least as long as my father did.” Sirius frowned for a long moment before eventually saying,  
“Would you mind staying a while? I … the though of James is…I’m not ready. I’d much rather have you sat behind me, you always were rather more like a dad than my own father.” Charlus preened at the compliment before looking as Sirius seriously,  
“Eventually you will have to face him.”  
“I know.” He said softly as he pushed out of the chair and left the office.

Sirius wondered the familiar halls for a while before finding the ground floor nursery and checking on Harry, who was playing happily with his nanny elf, seeing that Harry was settled he slowly walked up the stairs to the family gallery. Nodding to the portraits as he passed he made his way to the most recent additions, Siting in front of the portrait of a slim, redheaded woman he cast a shielding and privacy spell. Taking several deep breaths he woke her up as he watched her yawn he could almost see how James had fallen so easily in love with her.  
“Oh! Well I guess our cunning plan didn’t work then.” She said sadly.  
“I don’t think you ever thought it would, did you.” Sirius said pointedly letting his anger come out.  
“ Well as my father always used to say, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. But I’m sure you didn’t wake me up to bitch about my forward planning.” Sirius gritted his teeth before spitting out,  
“Really! You really think I not hear to talk about that!” Lily looked shocked at the level of fury being directed at her and as she opened her mouth to speak Sirius cut straight across her. “What was the spell you used? As best as I can work out it was some kind of, bloody well stupid, blood ward but they aren’t design to be used long term. Not on humans anyway. Carrying that much grey magic around with you just attracts trouble.” Lily’s eyes widened even more and Sirius silently cursed the artist for being a little too good.  
“Dumbledore never told me that. The book he gave me never even mentioned … Everything I have read made it seem like it would be fine.”  
“Thats because all of those books were written with the assumption that you have a little prior knowledge of blood magic. You shouldn’t have been playing around with that on your own. For crying out loud you had two pureblood just lounging around that you could have asked.” Lily lowered her gaze in a look that Sirius knew was meant to disguise her anger.  
“The incantation was In tutela of electus prosapia, I sealed it to you with a promise within a pentagram. I chose that spell because it can stay half completed forever, the casting only completes when the chosen sacrifice is killed. I thought that a willing sacrifice would keep it from creeping into dark territory,” Looking at Sirius’ horrified expression she muttered, “and I was so very, very wrong wasn’t I.”  
“Lily, Peter didn’t even need to betray you. That sort of spell. Naming yourself as a sacrifice! Magic likes completion, leaving it unfinished for nearly a year would make Lady magic think that you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. She would have sought out and drawn in those who wanted to kill you. Merlin! You drew a fucking target over your head and then tied your husband to your waist and put the baby in your lap! You might as well have stuck a briefcase full of bombs under your chair like one of those Irish chaps.” Sirius threw himself out of the chair and began to pace the edge of the ward in frustration and Lily sat still with shock.  
“ Can you break the spell?” she eventually asked.  
“Seeing as you bound it to me, yes. At least you managed to not fuck that up. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t bound me in.” Sirius snarled.  
“Dumbledore told me to leave it open, he said that way anyone who was family, in magic or blood, would be able to protect Harry.  
But I knew that if I didn’t tie you in. If I didn’t make the spell compel you to keep Harry close you would go racing off to do something stupid and almost heroic. I never figured out what happened between you and James but anyone could see that you still loved him more than life itself. I never meant to steal him from you but you know James he always did use all his heart for whatever he loved the most.” Sirius bit his lip deciding to let her keep her delusion, he didn’t see any reason for Dumbledore’s scheming to destroy someone else. Even if they were already dead. “I knew that if I died then James would already have fallen and you would go mad, possibly quite literally.” She dropped her head and laughed humourlessly “You always were a hot headed idjit, Siri. So I planned around it.” Sirius froze as she spoke and the two looked at each other in silence for a long moment. Sirius thought back to the day Lily had made him make that promise.

  
**“You know how you and James always say that thing?” Lily whispered low almost like she doubted herself. James slept on the sofa in front of them with Harry tucked on his chest.**   
**“hmmm?” Sirius said tearing his eyes off father and son to look at Lily. For a moment he considered telling her that James had broken that promise when he abandoned him in the middle of an Order meeting to romance her instead of following the ‘hey, Lily, wanna move into the manor and have my babies while I marry Sirius here’ plan.**   
**“ Would you say that for Harry too?”**   
**“ Of course.” Lily stared at him for a moment, and then grabbing his wrist she dragged him off. She tugged him through the kitchen and in to the workshop she had strong-armed James and him into warding for her. The workshop he had spent hours carefully measuring and cleansing to turn into the perfect ritual space. The one he had painted a pentagram in, the pentagram which he had carefully warded to be nearly invisible.**   
**“ I need to hear you say it. Promise me.” She insisted as she grabbed two stools from under the workbench and pushing one at him sat on the other. He sat where the stool slid to, the centre of the ritual space. The centre of the most powerful runes, centre of the pentagram. Encircled and trapped by his own magic, his signature so familiar and comfortable to him that he didn’t even feel it.**   
**“Lily, I will always carry him. Whatever else happens I will always be there.”**   
**“I know this has been hard. Anyone would understand if you…” Lily said softly looking at him with sympathy. Sirius looked away and ran one hand over his face before answering.**   
**“I might not agree with what James did, I’m not gonna say it didn’t….” he stopped and looked at her “Harry is a child, he is James’ child. With what we were. Are. I don’t think I could help myself. Fell in love with that little boy the second you put him in my arms and called my godfather.” He said with a happy grin “I might be angry, hurt even, but it’s not Harry’s fault. So I swear, Lily, when it comes to it I will always carry him. When he has no-one else I will be there.” Sirius didn’t notice the soft flair of magic just like he had never noticed the draw to visit the Potters. And just like after the Fidelis was cast he had assumed the ache in his chest was just the bond reminding him that James wasn’t his anymore. Assumed it was the bond breaking, that he was finally losing the last link to his James.**

He stayed wrapped in his memories until eventually Lily’s voice broke through softly asking, “Put me back to sleep until you wake James. His family always did act like I had done something wrong when I married him. That’s why we didn’t live in the manor.” Sirius nodded and cast the freezing spell at the portrait.  
Expanding the ward he walks over to James portrait and gently ran his fingers over the silky paint, patting the edge of the frame as he turned. He dismissed the ward and with a sigh of relief that the solution would be as simple as a targeted cleansing ritual he went to set up the ritual space in the ballroom.  
– – -

Firmly ignoring Harry’s wailing at the magic that washed over him Sirius released the spell and just as it had done when he had cast it on himself it circled Harry’s heart and began to draw Lily’s protection spell out of him. As it worked the whirlwind of magic was stained progressively darker and darker shades of grey until it was nearly black. Behind him he sensed Caradoc’s magic and just as he had done when he felt it pass through the wards he reached out and prodded the other man.  
“Oi!” Caradoc muttered without any bite as he walked up to stand next to Sirius. Sirius lent sideways slightly to bump shoulders with the other man as they both watched Harry cry forlornly.  
“It won’t be much longer.” Sirius murmured as much to reassure himself as inform Caradoc. “Then we have to break the circle. And then Harry gets all the cuddles.” Caradoc huffed.  
“If that hurts as much as it looks like it does then Harry will have to share some of the cuddles with you.” The spell ended with a flair of light and both men began to break the circle, moving almost as one until eventually Sirius was stood in the middle of the circle cuddling Harry as Caradoc cuddled them both.  
“Car?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“How could he do it? How could he watch me grow up knowing how hard I fought to be the man James deserved. Knowing what they did to me because of that. How could he just take that away?” For the first time since Moody’s office Sirius broke and pressing Harry between them he let himself cry as Caradoc rocked them and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.  
“Because he didn’t realise you were enough of a bad ass to survive it. Because Albus Dumbledore doesn’t care about anyone or anything that isn’t The Plan.” Sirius let Caradoc hold him for just long enough for it to reach the limits of best friends comforting each other before pulling away and clearing his throat.  
“So your flat is shit. And I don’t think I can remember how to live on my own. Plus Harry’s used to you and it’s not like I’m short on roo…” Caradoc held a hand up as Sirius began to ramble.  
“I get the message. I live in squalor and you would very much like it if Harry had some stability. I agree. But I am paying rent. Do not argue with me Black, I’ll not be having charity now!” Caradoc grumbled letting his accent thicken. Sirius grinned and with a laugh began to show Caradoc around the manor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note- ecgþrace,unswice,ingeþanc á beorht! (Strength, Faith, Heart always pure!). Á beorht is Toujours Pur in Old English.


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue**

_Nearly two years later_

Sirius stood at the front of the briefing room in the Special Projects training centre. He wore Auror robes, the Special Project crest emblazoned across the left breast, a small helm embroidered above it to indicate his status as trainer. His hair had grown long and was pulled back into a loose plait. His hands were loosely wrapped around the edge of the podium in front of him. James’ signet ring still sat on his little finger and both the gold and ruby Potter family rings resting on the index. He took a deep breath to wake himself up from the long day of holding monitoring spells in place. Picturing what Harry’s excitement would look like when he got home, even late as he already was, he pushed himself to find the energy for a speech.  
He looked down at the tired, muddy and bruised Aurors in front of him and smiled proudly and the men and women he had handed picked to train for the promotion.  
“You have been through hell today, at this point you probably want to kill me and can’t imagine being able to come back tomorrow and doing this all again. You thought that training to be a bog standard Auror was tough but this is quite a different challenge.  
This is day one of three months of the hardest training you will ever do. I’m not going to let you slack off. I don’t give second chances. You’ve already seen that, two of you are back down in the general office. They are done. They don’t get to try again. It’s not going to get easier and only the best of you will join our ranks, there is no limit for how many off you Moody will accept. All you have to do is survive. But this is all worth it. You will never find a place or a group of people who are more like home, who will never doubt you and will always fight for you. We will always believe in you and never abandon you. When everyone and everything you built your life around crumbles away we will stand by you to the very last soul.” Sirius took another deep breath and relying on practice to keep his voice steady he spoke, carefully meeting the eyes of every person in the room.  
“A good man once told me,  
‘When you can’t run, you walk.  
When you can’t walk, you crawl.  
When you can’t crawl, you find someone to carry you.’”  
A movement by the door caught his eye, looking up he spotted Caradoc slipping into the room.  
“In special projects, when you can’t run, someone will drag you to safety.  
When you can’t walk, they will help you hobble.  
When you can’t crawl,” he lifted his gaze to meet Caradoc’s eyes and with a soft smile finished, “When you can’t even crawl, your partner will carry you home.”  
He waved one hand in dismissal and waited quietly, eyes still locked on Caradoc, as the room was swiftly cleared.  
Caradoc pushed the door shut behind the last one as Sirius stepped off the plinth and started to cross the room. Caradoc walked forward to meet him halfway, instinctively matching pace with Sirius so they met in the dead centre of the room. The two men met and in one swift move wrapped their arms around each other.  
“The first day? Really, Sirius? How did the two of them manage to piss you off that fast?” Sirius pressed his face into Caradoc’s neck and muttered,  
“You really do not want to know.” He tiredly lifted his head and wrapping one hand around the back of Caradoc’s head he gently pulled the other man down into a gentle kiss. After a moment Caradoc pulled back and with a soft grip he held Sirius’ face forward and firmly said,  
“I love you.” Sirius smiled at Caradoc’s words. Between them magic flared and mingled as the days old bond between them thickened itself, twining them more closely together.  
“And I you.”


End file.
